The Living Dolls
by K.C.Dragonfly
Summary: Previously entitled 'Twilight' Sara Sidle is missing and the clock is ticking ... Based heavily on Living Doll/Dead Doll, except with some Ladylovin' for your pleasure.
1. Prologue

**Hey guys. New one for ya. This is (heavily) based on Living Doll/Dead Doll. However, as always, it is Cara :) The **_**italics**_** are flashbacks. I hope it's not too complicated to follow, but the dates and times should make it easier. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters, storyline or anything remotely related. I am merely borrowing and adapting them to my liking. I'll put them back when I'm done. **

**Stephanie, keep smiling girl x**

**x x x x **

**Prologue**

**25th September; 9:30**

_The door slammed. "Mom?" The voice filtered into the lounge from the hallway._

"_In here Linds." Cath called hoarsely, trying her damndest to conceal the fact that she'd been crying. _

"_Hi," The fourteen year old greeted cheerfully, but her expression changed once she laid eyes on her mother. "What's wrong?" She dropped her bag and threw herself onto the couch next to her mother. "Mom?" She asked earnestly. Catherine wiped her eyes futilely and attempted a smile. _

"_I'm okay honey." She assured her. "How was the slumber party?" She asked; but she should have known that trying to change the subject would never wash on her daughter. _

"_It was fine. What's wrong?" The teenager pressed, shuffling closer. _

"_Nothing's wrong. I'm fine" Cath insisted, albeit weakly. _

"_Has something happened? Is Sara okay?" Lindsey's blue eyes searched her mother's face for any clue. And she found it in Sara's name. _

"_She's okay." Catherine assured her. _

"_Have you two had a fight?" Lindsey guessed, correctly judging by Cath's expression. _

"_We had words." Cat corrected. Lindsey was quiet for a moment. _

"_Are you gonna split up?" The girl asked, uncertainty creeping into her voice. _

"_I don't know." Catherine answered honestly. She had learnt a long time ago that it was not worth lying to Lindsey, she always knew. _

"_Well, where is she?" _

"_I don't know." Cath repeated, wiping at the stray tears that kept creeping out. "We had words and she left. I don't know where she is." She shrugged sadly. "I screwed up." She mumbled. In a reversal of stereotypes, Lindsey wrapped her arms around her mother in a comforting hug. _

"_Well why don't you call her and talk it out. Fix it." The little blonde mumbled. Catherine didn't say anything, just revelled in her daughter's embrace. "I know you don't want to lose her." Linds said solemnly. "So do something quickly before it's too late." Cath hummed in agreement but didn't let go. _

"_When did you become so grown up?" She asked, nuzzling her little girl's face softly. Lindsey laughed. _

"_I don't know. I guess you were too busy making out with your girlfriend to notice." A smile crept into her voice. In a swift movement, Catherine grabbed her round the middle, causing her to shriek and shrink away into the cushions. _

"_Cheeky." Cath smiled, properly this time. Lindsey matched the expression. The teenager picked up the phone and handed it to her mother. _

"_Call her." She said, placing a kiss on Catherine's cheek. Cath watched her daughter disappear upstairs before turning her attention to the phone. _

_With butterflies in her stomach, she dialled Sara's number and waited for the smooth voice on the other end. _

X x x

**26th September; 23:42**

"Pick up Sara. Come on, please pick up." Catherine muttered to herself, phone glued to her ear as she stalked the Las Vegas Crime Lab corridors on route to the layout room. And yet she knew in her heart that that voice was not going to answer her.

**x x x x **

**I do like reviews :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**Thought I'd post this one before work :) The dialogue is pretty much Living Doll verbatim but I hope you like x**

**x x x x **

**Chapter 1**

_**26th September; 23:48**_

"Her name is Natalie Davis."

Just speaking her name caused his throat to constrict. He swallowed the hard lump in his gullet before continuing.

"She works for our janitorial service."

"What?"

"Here in the lab?" The boys asked, stunned. Catherine couldn't speak; angry, scared tears were stinging at her eyes and choking her voice.

"For over a month. She's never been arrested, so there's nothing to flag on a security check. She used Ernie Dell's address on her work form. She has no home phone and no driver's license." Gil continued; his voice solemn and detached.

"Okay, I got it." Greg's voice piped up. A case file flashed up on the computer screen:

282-040607 INCIDENT DATE

2007 RED MUSTANG ACCIDENT

CAR FLIPPED OVER

LOCATION: ALLEY BEHIND THE TRIP WIRE BAR

FRINE ST. & DORISA AVE.

FATALITY, DRIVER IDENTIFIED AS NOLAND

CASE FILE NO. LVPD 070406-3022

LEAD CSI: SARA SIDLE STATUS: CLOSED

VICTIM: WELLER, NOLAND DATE: 04-04-07 TIME: 05:19 AM

LOCATION: FRINE ST. & DORISA AVE.

ALLEY BEHIND THE TRIP WIRE BAR

CRIME SCENE DESCRIPTION:

RED MUSTANG 2007 TURNED OVER

DRIVER NOLAND WELLER EJECTED FROM DRIVER'S SEAT

VICTIM TOXICOLOGY FOUND ALCOHOL IN SYSTEM

"A 2007 red mustang totalled outside The Trip Wire bar six weeks ago. Driver fatality. DWI. Car went to scrap. Lead CSI on the case – Sara Sidle." A deep silence fell over the team as this information sank in.

"Pull up the case photos." Grissom instructed eventually. Everyone sucked in a breath as they saw their friend's face on the screen. Greg flicked through them, finally resting on a shot of Sara and Grissom with some bystanders in the background. They all studied the photo intently, searching for any clue that could help. Catherine, however, could not tear her gaze from Sara's face. She stared at it so hard that she could even make out the green tint in her dark brown eyes.

"Oh, my God." Grissom's voice startled them all. "She was at the crime scene." He held up a file photo against the screen. And sure enough there in the background, eyes ablaze and firmly fixed on the missing brunette, was Natalie Davis.

"So, she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and then grabs Sara, and puts her under it." Nick asked in a perplexed voice. Just hearing it laid out like that, so analytically, turned Catherine's stomach. Grissom rubbed a hand over his stressed out face, the true impact of the situation hitting home.

"I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?" Warrick asked.

"This feels different." Greg murmured. His youthful face seemed to have aged ten years in the last hour.

"It is different." Grissom agreed in a dazed voice. "This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell." He continued distantly, like he was talking more to himself than anyone else. "I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's going to do the same thing to me." The room fell into an eerie quiet. And though no one could see it, those words fell on Catherine's heart like a lead weight. "NotUrLittleBisqueDoll." He mumbled absently, meeting her eyes briefly before disappearing into the hall.

X x x

He dashed into his office and practically pounced on his laptop. There, he brought up the details of a miniature furniture site, tracking the member's profile. He was so engrossed in what he was reading, glad to have gotten a lead, that he was oblivious to the eyes boring into him like flames.

"She doesn't love you."


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_**25th September; 8:04 **_

"_Of course I don't love him!" Sara insisted. Catherine raised an eyebrow. "Come on Cat, you know how I feel about you." The brunette sighed. Catherine's heart skipped a beat at the use of the nickname, but she didn't let it show. She was mad at Sara. Or herself. Or both. She didn't know anymore so she settled for being mad at Sara. _

"_You confided in him." She mumbled. Sara's eyes narrowed in confusion. _

"_What?" _

"_I heard you. In his office, tonight." The blonde admitted. "Of all people you confided in _Grissom_." _

"_Cath..."_

"_No. I don't wanna hear any excuses Sara." She held up her hands, stopping any protest from her girlfriend. "Why?" She asked in an exasperated tone."Why can you talk to him but you can't talk to me?" There was no masking the hurt in her voice. _

"_It's not as simple as that." Sara said softly. _

"_I'm your girlfriend Sara! You can tell me anything!" Angry tears sprung to Catherine's baby blue eyes. "If there was something wrong why didn't you come to me?" _

"_You don't understand." Sara tried to explain but the words just wouldn't come. _

"_Is it me? Have I done something?" _

"_No" Sara insisted. "There's a lot you don't know about me Cat." She sighed sadly. _

"_Well maybe I would if you would just tell me." Try as she might to keep it under control, Cath's voice rose heatedly. _

"_I can't!" Sara's voice, in comparison, was hoarse, almost pained. Catherine took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. _

"_Please Sara, I'm worried about you. Please," she begged emotionally, "just tell me what's wrong." _

"_I can't. I just ... I can't." The brunette gasped. "I can't explain it because I don't understand it myself." _

"_No." Cath shook her head sadly. "Well maybe when you figure it out you can come find me." She finished; her voice barely a whisper now. Their eyes locked for a minute that felt like an eternity, before Catherine broke the connection and walked away. _

_If there was any connection left to break that is._

X x x

_**5:20**_

"_Feeling transcendental?" The voice brought his attention to the door, where Sara Sidle was leaning casually against the frame, a small smile gracing her face. He raised an eyebrow in bemusement. "Thoreau?" I haven't read him since college." She gestured to the well-used book in his hands. _

"_Me neither. It holds up." He smiled wistfully. She smiled back. _

"_I, uh, closed my case." She said eventually, placing a file gently on the edge of the untidy desk. _

"_Good." He answered abruptly, not sure what else she wanted him to say. When she didn't leave he quirked his eyebrow again. "Was there something else?" _

"_Yeah. Actually, there was." She shuffled her feet nervously, saying no more. _

"_Well..." he pressed, taking his glasses off and fixing her with a curious look. She sighed and sat down tiredly in the chair opposite his desk. _

"_I need some advice. And I didn't know where else to turn." She admitted quietly. _

"_Okay." He was puzzled, but nodded all the same. "What's wrong?" _

"_I don't know." She bit her lip anxiously. "I'm just ... lost." The young brunette paused, taking a moment to re-gather her thoughts. "I got a phone call the other day, and I don't really know what to do about it." _

"_A phone call from who?" Grissom asked, leaning forward in his chair. Sara laughed humourlessly. _

"_A skeleton that I'd rather remained buried." She muttered. Gil raised an eyebrow but said nothing. "The past is a ghost, the future a dream. And all we ever have is now." _

"_Bill Crosby." Grissom surmised. Sara nodded slowly. _

"_There are some ghosts in my past that I hoped I'd never have to face again. And now they're back to haunt me." She whispered, a silent fear lurking just below the surface of her husky voice, unable, or unwilling to show itself. "And I'm scared that they're gonna destroy the future that I thought I'd got planned." _

"_Ghosts?" Grissom asked, perplexed. _

"_I just ... don't know what to do." She choked, that fear stifling her words from within her. Grissom's eyes widened, making him look akin to a lost schoolboy. He reached across the table; took her shaking hand in his strong grip. She returned the gesture by clutching his fingers tightly with her own. No words were spoken between the two of them. None were needed. "Thank you." She whispered. _

_So lost in their tender moment of comfort, neither of them noticed Catherine; hurt tears trekking their silent path down her face, as she disappeared into the deserted hall. _

X x x

_**8:20**_

"_Cat..."_

"_Don't." The blonde snapped tiredly. "Just don't Sara." _

"_What do you want from me?" The young woman asked eventually. _

"_I want you to talk to me." Catherine said, her back still facing Sara as she leant on the kitchen counter. "No, better yet I want to know why you can talk to your ex, but you can't talk to me." She turned around now, facing Sara with a steely stare. Sara stuttered, not sure what to say. She closed her mouth, taking a minute to gather her thoughts in order to form a logical answer. Catherine, however, misunderstood her silence and took it as being unwilling to answer. She shook her head, a dry laugh escaping her lips. "I knew it." _

"_Catherine..."_

"_No." She repeated, but calmer this time. "I just ... I need time to think." She turned her back again, focussing all of her energy on a benign spot outside the kitchen window, until she heard the front door click closed. _

_And then, she cried. _


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_**27th September; 1:53**_

"Oh, sad was the day for the little bisque doll, for they cut all her stitches away  
And found the seat of the terrible ache; t'was a delicate task..."

"Natalie, listen to me – tell me where she is." Grissom begged, desperation oozing through his voice.

"For none of the doctors had ever before performed on a dolly's inside." She continued to sing in her distant, childlike voice. Her eyes, cold ... dead ... stared straight through him.

"Natalie. Please tell me where Sara is." He tried again.

"They tried to re-stuff her but didn't know how, and this was her wail as she died..."

"STOP IT!" Gil howled, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her wildly, as if Sara's location might just fall out of her. "Just stop this! Tell me where Sara is!" Natalie's eyes lifted to meet his, wide and crazed, and disturbingly empty.

"I've got a pain in my sawdust." Startled, Gil let go of her and ran a tired hand over his face. She was gone. Natalie Davis had locked herself away. And with Sara's location still tightly secured inside her twisted mind. "And that's what's the matter with me."

X x x

"Sara's location's probably locked away inside her head." Warrick grumbled, dropping the sketchpad back onto the desk. His stomach was turning at the thought of his little sister (for that was what she is, blood or no blood), trapped out there; alone, and scared. He brought his fist down hard on the desk, causing a mini-landslide of tools and strange creations from the warped mind of a serial killer.

His cell phone rang, startling both he and Nick, who was scouring the dingy apartment with his flashlight. "Brown." He crooned. "Great. I'll take it. Keep it there." He ordered before hanging up and turning his attention to Nick. "They found Natalie's car on Fremont Street." He explained.

"All right, go ahead." The Texan nodded, turning his focus back to the scene before him. "I'm not leaving here till I find something."

X x x

DISPATCH: (over radio) All units, 444 in progress. Still no response from C-27. WFA, five foot-eight, 120, brown-green. Last known location: parking structure at Imperial and Las Vegas Boulevard.

"Where are the damn tapes?" Catherine barked, nearly hitting the officer next to her as she threw her arms up frantically.

"Like I've been telling everyone, this is a strip mall, not a casino. The feeds go off-site. My boss is bringing it right now." The irate security guard before her huffed but Cath had barely heard a word.

She had left Gil's office with not so much as one more word, and ended up here.

"_She doesn't love you." _

The words seemed so harsh now; after all, Sara did love him. As a friend. But they both knew that was not the kind of love she was talking about. Sara loved Catherine. And now, Catherine's love was lost in the Nevada desert.

Trying to push the thought – and the tears yearning to fall – aside, she opened the folder close to her chest and pulled out to photographs, holding Natalie's up first.

"You recognise this woman?" The guy shook his head. "What about her?" She asked, her voice getting softer and her hands shaking as she held the photo of her girlfriend. Her _missing_ girlfriend.

"Yeah, she ... uh ... she eats at the veggie place downstairs a couple times a week." Cath raised an eyebrow. She hadn't known that.

"When was she here tonight?" She asked.

"I don't know, like 7:30, maybe. That's when she usually comes."

"That gives us a time frame. I'll take care of the tapes." Greg's voice piped up, startling Catherine. She had forgotten he was stood there. Before she could answer he and the security guard had disappeared, leaving her alone.

Alone and without Sara.

She took a deep breath to get a grip on her emotions and aimed her flashlight at the ground near Sara's car. The rain was starting to pour into the covered lot, tiny streams creeping tentatively up to the tires.

As she crept around the car something caught her eye. She knelt down and, using a gloved hand, picked up a tiny sharp object. "Taser barb." She commented to Officer Mitchell, who was hovering behind her anxiously. "Doesn't tell us where. Just how." She examined the needle sharp point of the taser. Sara always hated needles.

The thunder rumbled ominously above her.

X x x

The rain was beating down outside, thundering against the window pane like tiny bullets. Nick tried his hardest to shut the offensive noise out, not wanting to picture his best friend – his sister – lost out there in the horrendous storm.

He sighed and wandered around the tiny apartment, the beam of light casting shadows that pranced around him like black ghosts, taunting him. Here, inside her world, he felt trapped inside her head. And it was driving him crazy.

Shaking his head he focussed on the task at hand, meandering into the bedroom. Thin strips of light crept past the sheets of paper clinging to the windows, blocking out any connection to the outside. The young man looked around; his dark eyes darting over furniture, walls covered with drawings, posters, scibblings, and yet not seeing any of it. Growling with frustration, he threw the flashlight at the floor and violently kicked the bed. The low cot ricocheted against the wall, clattering back down against the tiled floor like a lightening clap. Breathing in a shaky breath, Nick sat down on the bed, taking a moment to gather himself. Tears stung at his eyes as memories began to fight their way to the forefront of his mind.

"_You think she's alive." Sara's voice drew his eyes upwards. "You're acting like you're going to rescue a person, not recover a body, and on this job that's just not usually the case." He looked at her and shrugged simply. _

"_I was rescued." Sara touched his shoulder lightly. _

"_It was not your day to die." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "When it's your day, it's your day, you know?"_

"It's not your day Sara." Nicky whispered to the empty room. "It is not your day to die!" He repeated more forcefully, angry tears streaming down his face, which he wiped away vehemently. He stood up and walked over to the wall, drawn to it by the face of his friend, plastering the dank wallpaper. More tears appeared where the old ones left. He grimaced, biting down hard on his bottom lip in a vain attempt to stamp down on the surge of raw emotion running wild through his body. He looked away, unable to stare at her pretty face any more, and something caught his eyes. A number, scrawled on the bottom of a sketch. He picked up his flashlight from its discarded home on the floor and directed it at the scribble:

DESERT DIAMOND

AUTO YARD

(702) 555-0739

X x x

"They wouldn't understand." The words were barely a whisper, but they were enough to make Hodges freeze.

"She said something." The startled lab rat said.

"She's not taking to you ... or anyone else here." Dr Kachler explained pointedly. Hodges nodded uncertainly and went back to gathering samples from her head. "This patient is exhibiting all the signs of a psychotic break: delusions, hallucinations, disorganised thought." He continued in that textbook drawl of his.

"How long is she going to be like this?" Sofia asked. The doctor shrugged.

"Days. Months. Any longer, we're looking at schizophrenia." The blonde detective shook her head despondently. That was not good. Hodges tried to pretend he didn't know what was going through her head as he picked up Natalie's hand and scraped underneath her nails.

"I promise." That cold whisper invaded his senses again. Against his own will he paused and looked up. Natalie's eyes drifted to his, looking straight at him. Or through him. "You're special girl." Spooked, Hodges dropped her hand.

**x x x x **

**Thank you for all the reviews :) They make my day. I'll try to keep the updates quick x**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_**25th September; 10:05**_

_Catherine felt, rather than heard Sara enter the bedroom, but made no move to acknowledge her presence. Instead, she remained as she was, laid on her side, her back to the brunette, right arm tucked comfortably under her head. Tear tracks were drying down her cheeks, as fresh tears stung at her eyes, which were staring absently out of the French doors leading onto the balcony. _

_The bed moved, springs creaking like telltale footsteps charting Sara's movements. A gentle hand traced a light path up her thigh, over her hip, gliding across her stomach. Fingertips sketched the outline of her breasts, the shape of her neck, her jaw. _

"_I'm sorry." Hot breath tickled her ear, sending shivers down her spine. "Forgive me." Soft lips barely touched her cheek, but it was enough to set the skin alight. _

"_How can I?" Catherine asked, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I still don't know what I'm forgiving you for." She pointed out. Sara sighed softly, her breath coating Catherine's neck like a fine mist. _

"_I wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how." She murmured. _

"_But you could tell Grissom." There was no anger now. Just self-pitying sorrow. _

"_He's an old friend. I trust him." Catherine sat up. _

"_You don't trust me?" She asked, more hurt than Sara ever wished to see behind her eyes. _

"_Of course I do. I just ... I didn't know how to tell you this. I'm sorry." She repeated. There was a moment's silence, which Catherine used to study Sara. Her face, the fear in her eyes. She knew Sara was telling her the truth, but rather than being a comfort that just hurt even more. _

"_What happened to us Sara?" She asked at last. "You and me, we used to be great together. When did we lose that?" She questioned despondently. Sara just shook her head, unable to answer. _

"_We can fix it." She said at last, more hopeful than confident. _

"_How?" Cath swallowed hard. "I feel like I've already lost you." The admission was not harsh, but hurt all the same. _

"_I'm still here aren't I?" Sara commented, tucking a blonde lock behind Catherine's ear, letting her fingers graze the skin lightly for just a second longer. _

"_I don't know, baby. Are you?" Cath asked, looking like a lost little girl. "I can't see you anymore. Not the girl I once knew." A lone teardrop made its way down her face, and Sara caught it with her fingertip. _

"_So help me find her." It took Catherine a moment to understand that Sara wasn't saying that for her benefit. She was actually asking for help. No answer to speak, and no other resolution in sight, Catherine pressed her lips to Sara's. The kiss was desperate, a pathetic offer of hope to them both. Hands found each other, fingers interlinking. Their bodies pressed together, each needing the contact it brought. Catherine let herself fall back onto the mattress, pulling her young lover atop her, clutching her tightly. Silently they undressed each other, caressing each new inch of skin as it was exposed. Nails dug into skin, scratching trails of passion across their pale bodies. _

_Hands, fingers, tongues. They roamed desperately, seeking every opportunity to elicit a moan, or a whisper of desire. Hushed mumbles of pleasure mingled with their breath in the air between them. Their words became more fervent, their moves rhythmic, like a well-rehearsed dance. And finally, just as the temperature of their bodies reached smouldering levels, their ecstasy overflowed into a flurry of senseless murmurs. _

_And then there was silence. _

X x x

_**12:27**_

_Catherine scrunched up her nose and clenched her eyes tight shut against the invasion of bright noon sunshine splayed across her face. She stretched out her arms, feeling nothing but the cool fabric of the mattress beneath her hands. Her eyes blinked open curiously and she looked around, searching for what was missing. Sitting up, the covers draped loosely around her, she found what she was looking for. _

_Sara was stood on the balcony, her back to the closed French doors. The blanket, wrapped around her naked body so tightly it highlighted every curve, was dancing in the afternoon breeze. So lost in her thoughts was she that she never heard the doors slide open, or the footfalls on the terracotta tiles. And yet she didn't jump when two arms encircled her waist from behind, or when soft lips traced the shell of her ear lightly. _

"_I thought you quit." The words drew her out of her musings. _

"_I did." She sighed, going to take another drag of the illicit cigarette, until Catherine suavely confiscated it and dropped it over the balcony onto the stone flags below. _

"_Bad for you." She pointed out, kissing's Sara's neck from behind. Sara did not respond to her touches, she just stood like a statue letting Catherine nuzzle her for a moment before speaking again. _

"_I'm sorry." They both knew she wasn't talking about the cigarette. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Catherine held still for a moment, her face pressed into Sara's sweet hair. Without letting go of her she turned the brunette around to face her. _

"_It's okay." The older woman said sincerely. Sara searched her eyes deeply. And, satisfied that she was telling the truth, hugged her tightly, breathing in her scent. _

"_I really am sorry." She mumbled. _

"_I know baby. I know." Catherine comforted her softly. Neither could have told how long they remained like that, cocooned in each other's embrace. Finally, Cath spoke. "I'm scared Sara. Tell me what's wrong." Her voice shook with raw emotion. Sara didn't speak. She just pulled back, took Catherine by the hand and led her inside. There, she sat on the edge of the bed, letting the blonde decide whether to follow suit. She did. _

_Side by side, no contact and no words; they sat like that for five whole minutes before Sara took a deep breath and started to talk in a quiet, isolated voice. _

"_My mother killed my father." _

**x x x x **

**:)**


	6. Chapter 5

**Thank y'all for the reviews, and special thanks to Spyffy for the virtual cookies, they were much enjoyed :) New chap for yous x**

**x x x x **

**Chapter 5**

**27th September; 3:45**

Grissom stared at the list in his hands.

RED ROCK CANYON (19 MILES)

SUNRISE MOUNTAIN (24 MILES)

LAKE MEAD (26 MILES)

LAS VEGAS DUNES (28 MILES)

SPRING MOUNTAIN (29 MILES)

LEE CANYON (31 MILES)

CATHEDRAL ROCK (33 MILES)

RAINBOW MOUNTAIN (57 MILES)

LOWELL CANYON (54 MILES)

Somewhere, at one of these barren locations, was Sara. His Sara.

X x x

Glad to be back in the safety in his lab, Hodges slid the sample underneath the microscope. He looked at it curiously for a moment. And a moment longer. He looked up. This was interesting.

He picked up a book and searched for the pollen type under his scope. Putting the book down, he wandered over to the map he had spread across his desk. Several samples he had been working on previously were pushed carelessly aside to make room for it. He marked an area in orange, labelled number 4.

He stepped back and looked at the map. There were now four areas shaded in: 1, red; 2, green; 3, blue and 4, orange. The only one that stood out, away from the others, was orange. He tapped his pen thoughtfully.

A flash of lightning illuminated the lab.

X x x

"Grissom." Warrick called, beckoning the supervisor over. "Zip-tie ... unlocked." He held it up for view. "I think Sara got out of this trunk. The speaker's completely ripped out from the inside. She could have reached through and released the backseat." He demonstrated, bending his arm through the hole. "And there's blood on the glass." Grissom gulped. "There could have been a struggle." Warrick finished.

"Yeah, but none of that's going to tell us where she is." Gil sighed. "We need a store receipt or parking stub, something with a location on it."

"If she got out of this car, she might not even be in the desert. We might be completely off base here." Warrick said hopefully.

"No." The certainty in Grissom's voice shot down Warrick's optimism in flames. "Natalie completed the miniature. I saw it in her eyes. Sara is under that car." He swallowed hard.

The tense moment was broken by Hodges stumbling into the room.

"Pollen spores off the bumper and off Natalie's head both overlap in Red Rock Canyon." He rushed out breathlessly. Warrick and Grissom both looked up with a new hope.

"Did you notify S&R?" Grissom asked, already on his way out of the door, followed closely by David.

"Yeah, they're already on it."

Alone, Warrick breathed a sigh and ran a hand through his shirt hair. Finally, a lead.

X x x

_**4:50**_

Brass tore into the auto yard like a bat out of hell, sending stones flying as he drifted the corner. He was barely out of the car before he had snapped his fingers at the guy lingering nervously in the junkyard.

"Hey, buddy. I'm in a hurry." The kid scampered closer, startled by the angsty detective. Brass pulled out a photo of Natalie Davis and waved it in front of his face. "This girl bought a red mustang off our impound lot." He barked. The kid stuttered.

"Yeah, couple of, couple of weeks ago, right, for, for art." Brass pulled a face.

"Who the hell is Art?" The kid chuckled nervously.

"No, she's an artist. She thinks all this stuff is art."

"Yeah, where'd you take it?" Jim demanded, bored with timewasters for the day. The kid shrugged nonchalantly.

"I don't know. It was dark, I followed the tail-lights." Brass raised an eyebrow.

"Wait a minute, you towed a 3,500-pound car, you can't remember where you took it?" The detective asked, incredulous.

"Well, w-what's going on?" Zapata Child's stuttered anxiously, backing away from the older man, who was trying his hardest to get up in the tall guy's face.

"Look, you towed a car for a serial killer. That makes you an accomplice." The kid's eyes widened in horror. Brass took another step towards him, his face and voice changing in earnest. "You helped abduct one of my people. Now, you either tell me where you took it or you're gonna end up in the hospital and after that you're gonna end up in jail." Honesty always was a character trait of Jim's. Zapata thought hard, searching his memory for any important piece of information. If the situation was not so tense Jim would have cracked a joke about this being the most the kid had ever had to think since learning to tie his shoes. But now was not the time. "What is it? C'mon, focus!" He snapped his fingers, hoping to draw the answer out of him.

"Um ... Ice Box Canyon!" He announced excitedly. Jim slammed a near-by car's hood down and produced a map, seemingly from nowhere, spreading it out on the rusty piece of junk.

"Look, this is a map." He said, waving a pen in the kid's face. "Show me on the map."

X x x

Catherine paced angrily in the locker room, trying desperately to stop the tears from flowing. Now was not the time. She balled her fists at her side, clenching her jaw. For a second she thought it was going to work. It didn't. A sudden burst of emotion escaped her lips in a mewling cry. She fell against the lockers hard, using them to hold herself up. The hard, cold metal against her hot skin sent shivers down her spine, but not in the same way that Sara's touch could.

When she had, with Lindsey's help, called Sara after their fight she had waited with baited breath for the brunette's answer. She had no idea what she was going to say. But it didn't matter, because when she finally heard that voice, sweet and soft, only two words had bubbled to the surface, hoarse and raw. And those two words caught in her throat now. Swallowing another cry, she whispered them unconsciously to the empty room.

"Come home."

She never even realised whose locker she was leaning against.


	7. Chapter 6

**Spyffy: selfish virtual cookies are still accepted :) and much enjoyed, especially when they come with a review :D**

**Enjoy y'all. Sorry for the depressing bits of this chapter but hope the love makes up for it x**

**x x x x **

**Chapter 6**

_**September 25th; 13:05**_

_Catherine had always known there was something Sara was hiding about her past, and to be honest she had a rough idea of what it might entail. But nothing had prepared her for that. _

_By the time Sara had finished her story, Catherine was nearly shaking with tears. The brunette, on the other hand, seemed remarkably calm. Too calm. She hadn't moved from her spot on the bed, and if it weren't for the silent tears creeping down her face Cath would think she was comatose. At some point – somewhere between her father twisting her arm until it snapped at the age of 5 and him raping her for the first time at the age of 7 – Catherine had migrated from the bed to sitting on the floor in front of the girl. And that's where she remained when Sara's walls finally came tumbling down. The young CSI fell into Catherine's arms, choking sobs wrenching their way out of her. The blonde caught her, dragging her onto the floor until she was pinned between the end of the bed and Catherine's body. And there she stayed, trembling and crying until there were no tears left to shed. _

X x x

_She had known. Deep down, she had. In retrospect, she guessed that she hadn't really wanted to know, so had blocked it out. But in truth, she had known from the moment she and Sara first slept together. Those scars..._

_**March 26th**_

"_Happy Birthday." The words, whispered seductively against her ear, sent sparkling tingles coursing through her veins. Two soft hands found her waist, trailing a path up her stomach to gently stroke the sides of her breasts. Catherine sucked in a breath. She turned her head slightly, to look over her shoulder at Sara, a soft smile on her face. _

"_You remembered." She whispered happily. _

"_Of course." Sara replied, not a hint of her usual playfulness in her voice. Soft lips trailed gentle kisses across her neck and shoulders. In amongst the immense pleasure that she was feeling right now, Catherine was struck by a strange thought. This was the first time in their relationship that Sara had initiated physical contact. _

_She was not a tactile person; Cath knew that and respected that (even if she did find it hard to keep her hands to herself around the brunette). Sure, they had kissed, and hugged. And they had even had a few pretty intense make-out sessions. But this felt different. This was leading somewhere. _

_Sara swept her tongue across the shell of Catherine's ear, cutting off all other thoughts and eliciting a moan from the blonde. _

"_You want your present now..?" Sara asked, nuzzling the back of her neck, "...Or later." The only thing close to an answer that Cath could come up with was another guttural moan. She felt Sara smile into the skin on her neck. "Hmm?" Sara pressed, sucking Cath's ear lobe into her hot mouth. _

"_Oh God!" Catherine groaned, her body nearly buckling. "Now! Please God now." She whispered, her eyes tightly closed. Sara smiled and, quite literally, swept the blonde off her feet. Catherine emitted a short, high-pitched squeal as the ground disappeared from beneath her. However, she didn't have time to contemplate this before she was carefully placed on the bed. Sara lay down next to her, kissing her softly. Cath changed positions so she could lean over the brunette, never breaking the clinch. When they did eventually pull apart Sara looked decidedly more shy than Cath had even seen her before, and it was a look she found utterly adorable. The older woman smiled down at her companion. "Well?" She asked sweetly. Sara gave her a questioning look. "My present." She elaborated, touching her nose to Sara's lightly. Sara made to get off the bed, but Catherine held her down and kissed her passionately; a big hint as to which present she was talking about. Her young girlfriend smiled in understanding and returned the kiss. Unconsciously, hands began roaming again, creeping under clothes, tugging at the hems. It was not long before they were discarded altogether, tossed in heaps like mountainous islands on the floor. _

_As soon as she saw the marks her heart skipped a beat. At first she didn't notice them, but as the dim light from the lamp threw rays across the bed, illuminating Sara's pale skin she saw them; appearing one by one as she traced the curves of Sara's body. They were faint, but they were there. One on her shoulder, a couple across her chest, some littering her stomach. She saw them, and yet she didn't see what was deeper – what they were trying to tell her. A part of her mind blocked them out; instead she focussed on the other things. The shape of Sara's body, the taste of her lips, the feel of her writhing beneath her touch. _

_And as their bodies moulded together, the scars just seemed to disappear. _

X x x

_**September 25th; 13:24**_

_As soon as it seemed that Sara's tears were no more, Catherine pulled back from the embrace, though still keeping Sara close, and kissed her lips softly. "I love you." She whispered. Sara mumbled something back, but Cath couldn't hear what. It didn't matter. She knew what she wanted to hear and that was enough. Without another word she started to unravel the bed sheet which was still tightly concealing Sara's body, and placed a kiss on her shoulder. And another on her neck. And her chest. For the first time in the relationship she let herself look at Sara, without the rose tinted glasses, and for the first time she actually saw her. Saw the scars, the marks tainting the beautiful body before her. And, one by one, she devotedly kissed every single stain on her skin. _


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**September 27th, 5:46**

The black and white cars weaved through the desert road, sending tornados of dust swirling into the sky. Greg squinted through the sand storms churning around the helicopter. Through his hazy view, he spotted something. "To the left. Down there." He barked, pointing. He began almost squirming in his seat as the bright red mustang crept into view. "That's it! That's the car." He exclaimed.

"Control, Air three. We are 20 miles west of the 159, near ice box canyon. Red-coloured vehicle spotted. Fits the description." The pilot rambled into the radio, but Greg wasn't listening. He was staring at the car, partially obscured by mud, desperately searching for any sign of movement. Any sign of Sara.

X x x

The cars cut through the sand like a blade, swerving into the clearing. Nick and Grissom were out of the car before it stopped moving, sprinting towards the overturned car with a speed neither knew they possessed. Nick reached the mound first, tearing into the mud with his bare hands like an animal possessed. Grissom joined him, and together they threw mud every which way, calling Sara's name desperately. Gil noticed that Nick had stilled his motions and glanced over, and what he saw made his heart stutter. Nick was holding Sara's CSI vest, stroking the name badge with care: SIDLE

X x x

**6:09**

The first thing Catherine saw was the mustang being hauled onto the tow truck. Without a second glance she ran straight past it towards Nick.

"She's not here." He called, not looking up from what he was doing. She skidded to a halt, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"Okay, that's good news." She sighed. Before she could say anything else Sofia's voice appeared from nowhere.

"Guys! Park Rangers said there's some roads on the other side of this basin. We're going to go scout them." She hollered, running towards her car. Nick stood up took off after her, calling over his shoulder:

"Alright, I'm going with her." He needed to feel like he was doing something more helpful. Catherine watched them disappear, spinning in a circle, lost.

"Catherine!" Grissom's voice caught her attention and she ran over to him. "I got shoe prints."

"She got out." Cath sighed with relief, staring at the trial leading into the desolate desert stretching for miles ahead. She was out there somewhere; they still had a chance to save her. It was a cruel chance, but it was still a chance.

X x x

The hot sun glared at him through the glass, burning white and cruel onto the sand as it arced up from behind the mountains. Greg scoured the desert, searching blindly for a lone figure. For his best friend.

There was no one.

X x x

The sand blew harshly against the windshield. Nick kept his eyes glued to the binoculars, searching the barren land for his friend. Sofia drove; twitching her eyes away from the road every now and then in the vain hope that she might see something.

There was nothing.

X x x

**6:53**

Grissom and Catherine wandered in silence, their eyes focussed on the ground. Without realising it, they both came to a stop at the edge of a patch of woodland. 'Figures Sara would have found the only greenery in the desert,' Cath thought to herself absently, 'flower child'.

Out loud she said "I'm not seeing any more footprints, are you?"

"No." He mumbled. She sighed sadly.

"I think we just lost the trail." She turned back to the officers, who were searching for other clues behind them.

"Cath, look."

"What?" She spun back to him so fast she nearly fell over and took the binoculars off him. In the distance she could see a small pile of rocks. Taking off at a slow run, they approached them. Three rocks, precariously balanced one on top of another. Sara Sidle you little star.

Cath smiled; for the first time all day she actually smiled. "This is better than a footprint." It was. This meant that not only was her Sara still alive, she was still thinking. As long as she was thinking she was okay.

'That's my girl.'

X x x

**7:25**

"Just keep going. Don't stop." She muttered weakly, dragging her feet through the sand. The sunlight was blinding and the dust was swirling around her mysteriously. "Three times four is ... okay three times four is twelve. Four times five is twenty. Four times six ... is twenty four. Four times four is ...what is it?" She asked to no one. "Sixteen." She decided. "Four times four is sixteen." She repeated, satisfied. "Four times five is..." Her legs buckled and she landed on her knees, the rear view mirror dropping by her side. "Four times... four times five is twenty." She couldn't tell you why she picked times tables but it seemed to be working. She hauled herself back up and picked her mirror back up, holding it close like a security blanket. "Come on. Four times five is twenty." "Four times six ... is twenty four." Or not, as she fell back to the ground with a thud. "Get up." She chastised herself. "Get up. Don't sleep. Don't sleep." She tried to stand up, failed, and tried again. "Don't sleep ... don't sleep. Stay awake, stay awake ... I ... just don't sleep." Three more steps and she knew she was out. Glancing at the bright burning sun in the sky tormenting her viciously, she admitted defeat. Everything started to blend into a mass of sparkling colours, taking her mind momentarily back to her more carefree days in college. Good days.

Dropping to her knees for a final time, she let herself be drawn to the hot dusty ground. She could feel it prickling against her skin. She didn't care anymore. The mirror still tightly clutched in her hand – her only lifeline now – she let her eyes drift closed.

And her last thought before succumbing to the brightness was of her beautiful Catherine.

X x x

Catherine and Grissom dashed across the sand, coming to a sudden stop at the next set of rocks. Cath bent down and picked them up; revelling in the thought that at some point not too long ago her beautiful Sara had been holding them.

"Good girl." She whispered, tears stinging at her eyes.

"Oh no," Grissom sober voice snapped her back. He took off at such a pace that she struggled to keep up, but when she saw what he saw she developed a new burst of adrenaline. They dropped by the body and started throwing dirt off it. In a sane state of mind Cath would have known straight away that it wasn't Sara: the back was too broad and the hair was too dry and wiry. Sara's hair was soft. However, in her panic, she needed to see the face to know for sure.

"It's not her." She mumbled, abandoning Grissom with the body and walking away. "It's not her." She repeated softly, needed the comfort she got from those words. "Oh baby girl where are you?" She asked desperately, pleadingly.

Unconsciously, her fingers sought out the tiny gold chain around her neck.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**March 26th**

_Catherine awoke with a smile on her face. Without opening her eyes she stretched her arms out, searching for her companion. But all she found was a mattress, cold and deserted, beneath her hands. Blinking, she squinted at the light streaming through the pale yellow curtains. Once her eyes adjusted she looked around the empty room in search of her love. There was no one here. There was, however, a small box sat on the pillow, lying peacefully next to a single red rose. Her smile growing, she sat up and picked up the rose. Twirling it between her fingers, she grinned lazily. Placing it carefully back down on her lap, she picked up the small velvet box, examining it closely. She squeaked it open slowly; peering in like it was a magic treasure chest. Something tiny and gold winked at her from inside. Opening it fully she gasped at the contents. There was a little golden heart with a tiny bright blue gemstone twinkling in the middle, strung from a gold chain. _

"_Aquamarine." The voice drew her eyes up to the door, where Sara was leaning casually against the doorframe, her brunette curls spilling over her shoulders making her look even more gorgeous as she glowed in the morning light. "It's your birthstone." Catherine tried to speak but nothing came out. She swallowed hard and tried again. _

"_It's beautiful." She whispered. She sent Sara a sweet smile from her comfortable spot in the duvet. "Are you gonna stay there all day?" Sara made that adorable smile that made Catherine's heart flutter and sauntered over to the bed. She sat down and kissed Catherine softly, eliciting a satisfied hum from the blonde. _

"_Happy birthday baby." Sara whispered. _

"_Hmm, coming back to bed?" Cath asked, attempting to pull Sara closer, but she declined. _

"_Nope. I've got another surprise for you." She grinned. _

"_Really?" Cath asked, joyful anticipation creeping into her voice. _

"_Yep. Stay here." Sara picked up the rose and tucked it into Catherine's hair. She kissed her again and stood up. "I'll be right back." Catherine shuffled excitedly, a gleeful smile on her face. A few minutes later Sara returned upstairs, a tray in her hands. Before she even reached the door the smell of fresh coffee and eggs invaded her senses. _

"_Breakfast?" Cath asked eagerly. _

"_No." Sara smiled, nudging the bedroom door open with her foot. "Breakfast in bed." _

"_You're my angel." Catherine breathed dreamily. _

X x x

That was the first day Sara told her she loved her. Catherine remembered that moment so vividly that it hurt.

_After a glorious breakfast, and an even better dessert, Catherine prised herself from under the covers and headed into the bathroom, where she found a bubble bath – complete with trashy magazines and rosé champagne (her favourite) – waiting for her. _

"_Just when I thought I had you figured out." She chuckled to herself with a smile. _

"_Never underestimate me Miss Willows." The amused voice made her jump, and for the second time today two hands wrapped themselves around her from behind. "I'm full of surprises." Sara whispered so close to her ear that the words vibrated the skin there. _

"_I see that." Catherine hummed, turning in Sara's arms to place a kiss on her lips. "You know you didn't have to do this. I'm not _that_ high maintenance." She joked, with just a hint of seriousness. Sara just grinned lazily, sliding Catherine's gown off her shoulders. _

"_I wanted to do it." She said, guiding her girlfriend towards the bath and helping her in. "I like spoiling you." _

"_Why?" Catherine smiled, settling into the bubbles._

"_Because I love you." The words tumbled so simply from Sara's lips but the effect it had on Catherine was immensely phenomenal. Her whole body flushed pink, her heart jumped to her throat, and every word on the tip of her tongue seemed to float away. While Catherine sat there dumbfounded, Sara seemed oblivious as she kissed the blonde's temple, handed her a glass of champagne, and left her to enjoy her bath in peace. _

_Alone in the bubbles, with the bubbly, Catherine erupted in a fit of giggles. After everything that she had seen and done in her life, there was very little that could make Catherine feel like a schoolgirl again, but that seemed to have done the trick. _

"_She loves me." She squeaked to the empty room, loosing herself in the giggles once again._

X x x

_**A brief moment of happiness in this dark world :)**_


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**September 27th, 15:52**

She wasn't laughing now. "I love you Sara." She whispered sombrely to the expanse of desert before her. Distantly, she heard Grissom hang up from Brass.

"Park service issued him a camping permit. He was supposed to hike out this morning." The entomologist said, appearing by her side.

"Must have got caught in the flash flood. Couldn't make it to higher ground." Cath answered absently, her mind and her gaze elsewhere. Grissom sighed.

"Where is she, Catherine?" the blonde looked at him. "It's 110 degrees. She's been out here all day, without water. She's disoriented. She's ... dehydrated."

"She's a survivor." Cath cut him off. That thought alone was all that was keeping her going right now.

"But she's ..." Grissom started to continue but her words, cold and final, cut him off.

"NO. She's going to be fine." She demanded: her shaky voice betrayed her confidence. Tears began to trek their way down her face. Startled, Gil wrapped an arm uncomfortably around her shoulders, but she shrugged him off. "Don't."

"Catherine, I know how you feel." His pathetic attempt to sympathise failed, as her eyes flashed to him; her gaze burning with rage.

"No you don't, Gil. You have no idea how I feel right now." She snapped. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off before he had chance. "The love of my life is out there somewhere," she gestured wildly to the desert stretching before them. "And we're stood here worrying about some dead hiker instead of doing something useful." He jumped, taken aback by her words.

"It's our job." He stuttered. "Sara would understand that."

"Well I don't. So why don't you stay here and play with your new crime scene, but I'm going to find my girlfriend, because she is waiting for me." The blonde fumed, turning to walk away. Grissom caught her arm, halting her motions.

"What did you say?" He looked at her closely. "You and Sara aren't..." He trailed off, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"For over half a year." She whispered, her voice hoarse. Grissom didn't speak for a moment, his gaze focussed on the ground between them. Finally, he looked up, fixing her with a steely stare.

"You're lying." He stated simply. The look on her face must have given away her bemusement at such an accusation at a time like this.

"You think I'd pick a time like this to play a joke on you?" She nearly screamed at him. "She is out there, lost and scared, and you think I'm making this up?" He didn't answer, so she continued in her loud voice, startling the nearby cops who were guarding Mr Hiker-man.

"This can't be true." He shouted back, running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair.

"Maybe if you didn't have your head so far up your own ass you might have noticed, but you are not the only person who cares about her Gil." She shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "And if you aren't going to help me find her then fine, stay here!" She was about to walk away and he was about to hurl a reply at her when both were driven to silence by the sound of a radio crackling between them.

In that moment, Catherine's heart sang with hope.

X x x

**16:30**

"Wait, slow down, slow down, slow down." Nick chanted to Sofia, his eyes peeled on the desert through his binoculars. Had he just seen that, or was his mind playing tricks on him. This was the third time he had thought he had seen her and it had turned out to be a trick of the light. But this time...

There it was again! "What is it?" Sofia asked anxiously, driving as slowly as she could without stopping altogether. That sudden flash of light, like a torch beam.

"Go that way! Go." He ordered and she obeyed, turning the car off the road and driving aimlessly through the dead plants and sand dips. They both saw Sara at the same time, lying motionless on the ground. Sofia hit the brakes, and Nick hit the ground running.

"Sara!" He called, sliding ungracefully to the floor next to her. "Sara, it's Nick, can you hear me?" He asked desperately, feeling for a pulse. There was nothing. He looked up at Sofia desperately. "I can't get a pulse!" She placed one hand on his shoulder, holding the radio in her other.

"We found Sara. North on the 159 at Turtlehead peak. We need a medivac out here right now!"

The both began pouring water over their friend, saying any comfort that came to mind.

"Don't worry, we're going to get you out of here, okay."

"You're gonna be okay, Sara."

"They're coming for you now."

Neither knew if Sara could hear them, or if she was still alive, but talking to her gave them both a little comfort. However, what really gave them hope was the sight of the medivac helicopter soaring into view. Sofia waved her arms, flagging it down. It hovered above the ground for a moment, and two medical personnel jumped out, before hitting the ground with a dull thud.

Help was here.

X x x

The first thing Catherine saw as the car careened over the hill was the helicopter spiralling towards the ground. The sight was a comforting one, if a little startling.

Before Grissom even touched the brakes Cath was running towards her girlfriend.

"Female, 35, unconscious." She heard Sofia telling a medic.

"What's her name?" He asked, bending close to the blonde to hear over the helicopter engine.

"Sara." Sofia shouted to him.

"Sara? Sara, can you hear me?" He tried to same technique as Nick had, to no avail. Catherine ran so fast she nearly knocked Nick over.

"How is she?" She demanded, while Sofia tried to hold her back. Grissom appeared by her side, a haggard expression on his face. Reluctantly, the team stood back and watched the medics prepping her with IVs and wires and oxygen masks. Odd words filtered through the panic-laden haze in Catherine's mind: Oxygen ... 15 litres, IV prep, watch the arm. However, only one full sentence reverberated in her head.

"No radial pulse." Before the words could properly settle, Sara was loaded onto a transport carrier and lifted off the ground. Nick held the IV bag up and followed the medics as they loaded her into the helicopter. There were more muffled instructions tossed between the medics, but Catherine had stopped even attempting to listen.

"I'm going with her." She called, not waiting for permission. Nick and Sofia took one arm each and hoisted her up into the helicopter.

"Where are you taking her?" The blonde detective shouted.

"Desert Palms." And with everybody fastened in, the helicopter rose, hovered, and took off.

Throughout the whole exchange, Grissom had not said a word.

X x x

Catherine gripped Sara's hand, the unbroken one, like a vice.

"Desert Palm, inbound. Six minute ETA."

Six minutes. That was not long, but it was long enough, Catherine thought to herself. It was six more minutes that Sara was not in hospital. But, it was six minutes that Catherine could hold her hand before she would be whisked away in the ER.

"Come on Moonbeam." She whispered.

No, six minutes sounded just about right.

**x x x x**

**You guys like? The name Moonbeam is borrowed from an episode of Charmed, which I do not own (unfortunately, because Cole Turner is hot!) **


	11. Chapter 10

**Thank you all for reading and for the reviews. **

**The nickname 'Moonbeam' in this chapter is borrowed from an episode of Charmed (Witchstock) which I do not own. I do not own Charmed or the nickname, I just thought it was cute :)**

**x x x x **

**Chapter 10**

_**March 10th**_

"_Six minutes!" Catherine gasped, waving her watch as proof. Sara just smiled and shrugged. "Six minutes to do all of your makeup. That's not possible." The blonde insisted, eyeing her new girlfriend suspiciously. Sara simply placed a brief kiss on Catherine's lips and smiled. _

"_I'm just that good." She stated. Cath shook her head, not taking her eyes off Sara as they made their way towards the door._

"_What's your trick?" _

"_There's no trick." Sara laughed, closing the apartment up behind them. _

"_There must be. Some magic secret." _

"_There's no secret. I'm just very quick at getting ready." _

"_Nobody's that damn quick!" The blonde continued in her bafflement for the entire journey to the restaurant. _

X x x

"_Bronte Moonbeam?" Catherine nearly choked on her food with laughter, earning her a few strange looks from the other patrons in the restaurant. Sara, however, was not laughing. _

"_It's not funny." _

"_Oh, it's a little funny." Catherine giggled. Sara stuck out her tongue._

"_Yeah, well what's your middle name?" _

"_Elizabeth." Catherine stated. Sara pouted and mumbled something incoherent. Cath smiled and reached across the table, placing a soft hand atop Sara's. "Sorry honey, just wasn't expecting that." _

"_I told you my parents were hippies." Sara shrugged. Cath nodded. _

"_So ... Moonbeam? Any reason they chose that or just a random selection?" Sara laughed. _

"_Well, my grandfather on my dad's side is Irish, so that's where Bronte comes from. And I really couldn't tell you about Moonbeam, except that I think it was my mother's choice." Catherine chewed the inside of her cheek. _

"_Moonbeam." She hummed, revelling in the way the word tumbled over her tongue. "I like it." She decided eventually. Sara looked at her wide-eyed. _

"_You're kidding, of course." Sara half-laughed, but Catherine just smiled wistfully. _

"_No, I really like it. It's cute." She winked. Sara blushed furiously and mumbled something into her food. "What?" Catherine asked, though she had an idea what Sara had said. _

"_That's not something I've ever been told before." She repeated quietly, still blushing. Catherine grinned and patted her hand. _

"_Well get used to it." She said, before slyly adding: "Moonbeam." _

X x x

_**September 24th**_

"_Hey there Moonbeam." Catherine hummed into the early morning quiet. Sara turned in her arms, looking up at her with a sleepy smile. _

"_Hi." She whispered. They kissed in their awkward, though amazingly comfortable, position and Sara turned her head back to the window, nestling her back against Catherine's chest. Cath buried her head in Sara's hair, letting the scent of passion fruit and watermelon overwhelm her. _

"_What do you want to do today?" Cath asked eventually, nuzzling Sara's neck. Sara hummed and shrugged. _

"_I kinda like what we're doing right now." Despite the dimness Cath could hear the smile in her voice. _

"_Really?" She chuckled quietly. A stray hand found its way to Sara's stomach and suddenly the brunette shrieked and curled up into a tight little ball in Catherine's arms. Cath laughed heartily as Sara squirmed and writhed beneath her skilled fingers. _

"_Stop! Stop I beg you!" she squealed, and eventually Catherine stopped tickling her, a satisfied smirk adorning her face. "That was mean." Sara grumbled, shuffling back into her comfortable position in the blonde's arms. Cath laughed again. _

"_What can I say? I love to hear you scream." She hummed into Sara's ear, earning her an elbow to the stomach. They were quiet for a moment, until eventually Sara turned slightly to look at Catherine over her shoulder. _

"_You know," she mused, "If Greg or Nick walked in right now we could make a fortune." Both fell into a fit of giggles, after which they had somehow changed positions, and Sara was now coiled into Cath's side, who was lying on her back with her arms around her girlfriend. _

"_Maybe we should tell them." Catherine suggested at last. Sara sent her a confused look. "The boys." Cath clarified. Sara nodded, nestling herself into the crook of her neck. _

"_Do you want to?" She asked. Cath shrugged. _

"_Honestly, I don't know." She admitted. "I just think that if we don't do it now we never will." Sara was quiet for a moment. _

"_How about Thursday?" She said at last. "Breakfast at the diner? We could tell them then." _

"_Hmm." Cath hummed in agreement. "How do we get Grissom there though? Drag him by the microscope on his nose?" She joked, and their bodies seemed to tremble together as they laughed. When they calmed back down and snuggled up tightly together again Sara sighed. _

"_Maybe we should tell him separately, before the boys." _

"_Yeah." Catherine agreed quietly. "Thursday morning."_


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**September 28th, 00:15**

As it worked out, they did tell the boys about them on Thursday morning. But they were not in a relaxed diner. She saw Thursday morning in while sat outside Sara's hospital room, waiting impatiently for news of how her surgery was going.

By the time the boys finally finished up at the various crime scenes and arrived at the hospital she had drifted off, curled uncomfortably into one of the plastic chairs in the hallway. The boys and Sofia tried not to wake her, which was working fine, that is until Greg tripped over his shoelaces and clattered ungracefully into a chair.

Catherine started awake. She looked around blinking.

"Sara?" She asked immediately.

"We haven't heard anything yet. We just got here." Nick said softly. "The nurse said she's in surgery? How was she before, were you with her?" Cath shook her head sadly.

"No. They took her straight in. All I've been told is that she was critical and needed surgery. They wouldn't even let me see her before she went in." The blonde wiped at her eyes. Startled, Warrick wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, hey. Come on, Sara's a little fighter. She's gonna be fine." He assured her. As long as the team had known Catherine, none could recall seeing her cry before.

"I know. I'm just scared." She said, her voice shaking with unshed tears. "I love her." The words were whispered so quietly that Catherine wasn't even sure she said them herself, but everyone heard them. Sofia and Warrick sent her a look similar to the one they had sent Grissom when he uttered those words. Nick just smiled sweetly.

"We love her too. She knows that." He offered.

"I don't think she meant that Nick." The eerily calm voice drew everyone's tired eyes upwards to where Grissom was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed. Nick frowned.

"What...what do you mean?" He asked, looking between his two supervisors in puzzlement.

"I think Catherine was referring to a different type of love." Grissom clarified, but Nick still didn't understand and everyone else looked a combination of confused and too tired to care.

"He means I'm in love with her." Catherine mumbled, her head buried in her hands. Warrick and Greg just exchanged a look of understanding as some things started to make sense to them, while Nick stuttered a non-reply. Sofia nodded slowly, letting the pieces of the puzzle fall into place in her mind. Brass said nothing.

"How is she?" Grissom asked at last, after a period of uncomfortable silence had descended over the group.

"I don't know." Catherine sighed, running a hand through her hair for the millionth time today. Another silence followed, before Brass spoke up.

"Does Lindsey know what's happened?" He asked Catherine softly. She nodded.

"She's with Nancy. I called her a little while ago; they're going to come down later."

"Is that wise?" Grissom asked. She sent him a puzzled look so he continued. "Them coming here. I mean, there are a lot of us here already." He pointed out.

"They're her family." Cath stated bluntly. He pulled a face.

"No they're not, not re..."

"They are my family, so they are her family." Catherine explained pointedly, making it quite clear with the tone of her voice that there was no point in arguing. Grissom shuffled his feet uncomfortably, while everyone else looked around nervously. They all had so many questions to ask but they knew that now was not the time. Suddenly a thought struck Nick.

"Do her family know what's happened?" He instinctively turned towards Grissom, before realising his mistake and directing the question at Catherine, who shook her head.

"She's not close to them. We're about the closest thing she's ever had to a family." She paused, thinking. "I'll call her grandmother later, they stay in contact."

Everyone seemed satisfied with that answer, for now at least.

X x x

By the time a nurse arrived, Catherine had damn near fallen asleep again, her head resting against Warrick's shoulder. However, as soon as Sara's name filtered through her hazy mind she was on her feet so fast she got a head rush.

"Is she okay?" She pleaded with the young nurse.

"She's stable now. She's still unconscious but you can see her for a little while if you like." Catherine felt so happy hearing those words that she could have kissed this woman.

X x x

The team filed into the small room one at a time, creeping in slowly, all except for Catherine who made a beeline for the bed as soon as she got through the door. Everyone else stood back, watching her fuss over Sara, stroking her hair and rearranging the blanket carefully. They guys felt so privileged watching this endearing behaviour, and yet they also felt a little bad, like they were intruding on what should be a private moment.

Sofia decided that Sara had enough people staying with her and whispered to the guys that she was going back to the lab to spread the good news. Brass offered her a lift. However, before the detective left he walked over to the bed and, in an unprecedented act of friendship that the team had never witnessed before, wrapped his arms around Catherine, kissed her forehead and stroked Sara's cheek ever so lightly with the back of his fingers. No words were exchanged, none were needed. But the simple gesture was enough to give Catherine hope that everything was going to be okay now.

With Brass and Sofia gone, the boys slowly made their way over to the bed, sitting or standing around it in a protective sort of circle. Warrick perched on the bottom of the bed. Nick sat next to him in a chair, his hands lying peacefully on the mattress, his fingertips just grazing the side of Sara's stomach. It was the smallest touch, but it was enough. Enough to convince him that she was here, and she was safe.

Greg lent over the railing at the bottom of the bed, behind Warrick, staring at her serene face. If it weren't for the machines and wires, it would look like she was just sleeping.

Grissom hovered at the other side of the bed, the right side, near to Catherine. He wanted nothing more than to touch her right now, but was slightly scared that Catherine might break his hand if he tried. So instead he had to be content with watching her sleep.

Catherine had settled herself on the bed, leaning back against the headrest, one arm stretched across the pillow behind Sara's head, and the other resting naturally on Sara's chest, just above her heart.

And there they were. The night shift team – reunited. They stood as a team around their fallen friend. The only sound – the rhythmic pattern of Sara's heartbeat – faded into the background, like a soothing music score.

And in the silence that resulted, Catherine spoke: clear and calm.

"It started on Valentine's day."


	13. Chapter 12

**This one's for Stephanie, keep smiling girl! This chapter shows there's always hope ;)**

**x x x x **

**Chapter 12**

_**February 14th, 3:53**_

_**St. Valentine's Day**_

"_Happy Valentine's day my ass." Catherine grumbled miserably, twisting the flower between her hands numbly. _

"_Hey." The voice startled her out of her depressing reverie and she looked up slowly to find Sara ambling her way towards her. She had no idea how long the brunette had been watching her but judging by the look on her face it was a while. "Wanna talk about it?" She asked, pretending to be looking for something in her locker. _

"_Nope." Catherine mumbled, still sitting on the bench staring at the floor. Sara chewed on her lip thoughtfully for a moment. _

"_Wanna go for a beer?" She asked at last, repeating the words that Catherine had once sent her way in a reversed situation. The blonde was about to say no, but something stopped her. And though she had no idea why at the time, she smiled. And she said one word. _

"_Drive." They both laughed; a beautiful sound that broke the mood. _

X x x

_And, sticking to their pattern, they ended up at the same bar that Catherine had taken Sara to all those years ago after Hank had shown his true colours. _

_There was one difference however. This time there was no discomfort. No awkward silences. They sat there in each other's company and let a perfectly comfortable quiet settle over them. _

"_He cheated on me." Catherine sighed eventually, still holding the single red rose between her fingers. Sara placed her bottle down on the table slowly and fixed her with a sympathetic look. She didn't say anything – what could she say? Instead, she just listened. And eventually Catherine spoke again. "We were supposed to be meeting at the restaurant, but I got off early and thought I'd surprise him at his office." She swallowed hard. "I thought I'd learnt my lesson from Chris." Sara reached across the table and placed a hand on Cath's. The blonde looked up sharply; in the six years she had known Sara she could count on one hand the number of times the brunette had touched her. The feeling was surprisingly comfortable. Oddly, she thought, it felt quite right. The smooth sounds of the Commodores filtered through the speakers, with 'Three times a lady'. _

"_He's not worth you." Sara's voice was soft, but husky. Catherine laughed, but it was a nervous, unhappy laugh._

"_Why do I keep doing this Sara? Why do I keep falling for the wrong person?" She asked despondently. Without a word, Sara reached over and carefully took the flower from her hands. Taking the other woman completely by surprise, she tenderly tucked the rose into Catherine's golden hair. Her touch was unbelievably soft, almost feather soft, and left Cath feeling all tingly. _

"_Maybe you're just looking in the wrong place." Sara whispered. Catherine smiled; a radiant smile which reached her sparkling blue eyes. She took Sara's hand, which was still resting on the side of her face, and held it between her own hands. Without a thought, she tugged the brunette to her feet and dragged her to the dance floor. It was still freakishly early and the bar was almost empty, apart from a few couples and loner drinkers. She pulled Sara into the centre of the room, under the dusty spotlight, and turned, wrapping her arms around her neck. _

"_Dance with me." She whispered seductively into Sara's ear. Instinctively, the younger woman wrapped her arms around Catherine's waist. The song changed, and 'I'll Stand By you' floated around them. _

Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes

Come on and come to me now.

Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through

Cause I've seen the dark side too.

_Catherine stepped closer, pressing her whole body against Sara's. _

When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,

Nothing you confess could make me love you less

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

_She leant against her, letting the brunette hold her whole weight, feeling safe and comforted in her embrace. _

So, if you're mad get mad, don't hold it all inside,

Come on and talk to me now.

And hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too

But I'm a lot like you.

When you're standing at the crossroads, don't know which path to choose,

Let me come along, cause even if you're wrong

_Her pretty green chiffon dress shimmered in the dull misty light of the bar. She could feel Sara's heart beating against her own, like their own personal drum beat. _

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

Take me into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you.

I'll stand by you.

_Without a word, she lifted her head from Sara's shoulder, and kissed her. It was a simple kiss, soft and sweet. "Take me home." She whispered, so close to Sara's lips that the brunette could practically taste the words. Sara released her from her grip. _

And when, when the night falls on you baby, you're feeling all alone,

You won't be on your own, I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you

_She held out her hand, and with a smile, Catherine placed hers inside its safe grip. _

I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you

Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you

_And leaving the bar behind to step into the cool dawn air, the only words spoken were those drifting behind them like a shadow. They were the only words that were needed. _

I'll stand by you


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"She hasn't left my side since." Catherine finished quietly. "Until today."

It was that admission that really showed them the extent to which this whole nightmare had affected Catherine. The boys had nearly lost their friend, their sister.

Catherine had nearly lost her soul mate.

X x x

Catherine had gone quiet after that, seemingly content with watching Sara sleep. So the boys busied themselves in idle small talk. Grissom did not partake. He was too busy watching the girls: noting the subtle way Catherine was stroking Sara's chest, and the way her fingers tangled themselves in her brown curls. The way Sara's heartbeat, beeping away to itself, responded to her little touches in an understated show of love.

"You knew how I felt about her." He said at last, silencing the boys' conversation. Catherine tore her eyes away from Sara only briefly, to glance at him impassively.

"She doesn't feel the same." She pointed out.

"She did." He countered. Cath sighed.

"Yeah, Gil, she did. And you broke her heart." He gave her an insulted look. "What? It's true. How many times did you lure her in only to push her away when she got too close?" She accused. "You never had any intention to do anything about your feelings for her. She even asked you out, because you didn't have to guts to do it yourself. And you said no!" He looked sheepish; the boys looked stunned. But she didn't notice. Her gander was up now and she was not going to calm down anytime soon. "You had your chance with her, and you blew it. And it was the biggest mistake you ever made because she is the sweetest, most thoughtful, beautiful person I know." When she finished she had tears in her eyes.

Almost as if she knew they were talking about her, Sara's eyes blinked open. And snapped shut again.

"Sara? Baby girl?" Catherine called, tightening her grip. Sara's eyes opened again slowly and she started kicking, trying to get the covers off. "Shush, honey its okay. I'm here, it's alright." Catherine gripped her shoulders lightly, trying to hold her down.

"I ... I can't ... too hot." Sara mumbled, still fighting against Cath and Nick, who was trying in vain to hold her hips still.

"Hey sweetie calm down. You're gonna hurt yourself." Cath chastised gently, stroking her hair with one hand. She stated to calm down a little, so everyone was stunned when Grissom pulled Nick aside roughly and grabbed Sara's upper arms, pinning them against the bed sheets. Momentarily stunned by the sudden attack, Sara quickly started fighting even harder. Catherine yelled at Grissom to let her go, to no avail. Suddenly, and with immense strength, she bolted around the bed and launched herself at him, practically throwing him over.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she screamed, nearly knocking the heart monitor over with her wild arm movements. "Are you trying to scare the life out of her?"

Greg had moved around to Sara's right side, where Catherine had previously been sat, and was holding her shoulders as she tried to sit up.

"I was trying to help!" Grissom shouted back. Warrick placed a hand on his shoulder, more out of restraint than support.

"By giving her a heart attack!"

"She was going to hurt herself." He reasoned.

"I had it under control!" Grissom scoffed at that.

"Yeah, because you're taking such good care of her! Hence how Natalie managed to kidnap her in the first place!" Catherine looked like he had slapped her.

"Get. Out." She ground out between her teeth. The door swung open and a nurse, different from the one before, stormed in abruptly.

"What is going on in here?" She demanded, eyeing Grissom and Catherine suspiciously. Sara was still struggling to sit up and get out of bed but both Greg and the nurse, who pushed her back down less than gently, managed to stop her. "Right, everyone out." She shouted, pointing to the door.

"I'm not leaving her." Catherine insisted, sitting on the bed and taking Sara's hand. Grissom looked about to speak but Warrick and Nick each took an arm and pulled him to the door, followed by a reluctant Greg.

X x x

In the corridor, Grissom paced.

"I was trying to help! Why can't she see that?" He cursed angrily.

"Hey now, come on man, you did grab Sara kinda harshly." Nick pointed out carefully.

"I was trying to stop her hurting herself." He bellowed.

"But did you have to grab her like that? She was really freaked out!" Nick kept his voice lower, aware that they were only outside the door, but his anger was obviously close to boiling point. "Cath's right, you don't really care about her. You couldn't sacrifice you're sad little loner lifestyle for her but you don't want anyone else to have her either so you just keep hurting her!" Grissom was silenced by the Texan's outburst. Over the last few years Nick had stood up to Grissom on few occasions, and none so venomously. "You know what," he continued, catching his breath, "I'm happy for them. I'm glad that they found each other because Sara will be there for Cath and Lindsey, and Catherine would never hurt Sara like you have. They deserve each other."

Grissom pursed his lips in a pout of sorts. "Yeah, they do." He said, tight-lipped. Nothing else to say, he turned and stalked down the hall. Warrick and Greg patted Nick on the back in an act of respect.

But everyone knew in the pit of their stomachs that his last words had a different meaning to Nicks, just as much as they knew that this was not over.

X x x

Back in Sara's room, the irate nurse got Sara situated back in bed and somewhat calmed down. Satisfied that Catherine was not going to upset her patient again, she left them to it.

"How're you feeling?" Cath asked, back by her side.

"I'm okay." Sara croaked, her throat sore. Cath handed her a drink of water, which she took gratefully. "Are you alright?" She asked her girlfriend after soothing the burning in her throat.

"I've been better." Cath answered honestly. Sara was about to speak again but Cath stopped her with a hand on her chest. "There's something I've wanted to do for the last 25 hours and if I don't do it now I might explode." She pressed her lips to Sara's; capturing her girl in a desperate, needy kiss. She pulled back, resting her forehead on Sara's. "I thought I might never get to do that again." Sara laughed softly and it was music to Catherine's ears.

"So that's all you were thinking about huh?" She joked. Cath nudged her playfully, but gently, well aware of her injuries.

"That's not what I meant." She smiled. Clambering onto the bed properly she pulled Sara against her chest, careful not to hurt her injured arm. Sara snuggled against her. Finally, Catherine could relax as she studied her girlfriend.

She was battered, and bruised. But she was safe, and relatively unscathed. And she was back in Catherine's arms. And that's all that mattered.

"Hey baby," She whispered. "Promise me something."

"What?" Sara asked sleepily.

"Don't ever do that again." Cath half-joked. "I don't think my heart could take it."


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_**Valentine's Day**_

'_This old heart of mine' filled the car on the way home. Catherine couldn't help but smile at the irony._

_Sara had assumed Catherine meant her own home, so that is where she took her, putting her memory to the test trying to remember the way from the few occasions she had been before. _

_Cath didn't notice Sara concentration. She was too lost in her own thoughts. Her hand was still firmly locked in Sara's, their slender fingers intertwined like rope vines in a forest. _

_Outside Catherine's house Sara killed the engine and turned to the blonde uncertainly. They were here. Now what?_

_Fortunately, Catherine answered her unasked question with a simple tug of the hand. _

X x x

_Inside, they discarded their jackets and bags by the door, and Sara took a moment to cast her eyes over the warm living room, before following the blonde into the kitchen..._

_...where she found her practically crawling into the fridge._

"_Cath? You okay?" She asked unsurely. Suddenly the other woman popped up, a bottle of wine in her hand and a sheepish grin on her face. _

"_Knew it was in there somewhere." She sent Sara a sly inviting smile. Sara smiled back and took the bottle from her. _

_Settled on the couch with a glass of red each and the open bottle on the coffee table, they lapsed into silence again. It suddenly occurred to Catherine how bizarre this situation was and, without warning, she burst into the giggles. Sara stared at her with a combined look of astonishment and alarm. Not sure what else to do, she reached over and took Catherine's wine glass from her, which only served to cause the blonde to crack up even more. _

"_You need me to get someone or ..." Sara asked, not sure whether to laugh or run away at this point. Catherine held her sides, trying desperately to get a hold of herself. Once she had calmed down enough to talk she shook her head and brushed her hair aside. _

"_No, I'm good." She giggled again, but more in control now. _

"_You sure?" Sara couldn't help but chuckling at the older woman's appearance. Cath nodded. _

"_I'm fine. Sorry." She grinned shyly. "I was just thinking ... this is one of the strangest nights of my life." Sara looked puzzled so she elaborated. "I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me, on Valentine's Day, and wound up making out with a colleague, a female colleague," she corrected, "in the middle of a dingy bar on the strip." She gestured around them, "and we end up drinking wine in civilised silence on my couch." She finished. This time they both laughed as they thought about how strange it was, and how such a whirlwind morning ended with a quiet glass of wine in the living room. It was indeed very odd. _

_They calmed back down and Catherine held out her hand to Sara. It took the brunette a moment to realise she was asking for her glass back. _

"_Well, my love life never was easy." Catherine reflected thoughtfully, before sending Sara a sultry look. "But like you said: maybe I'm just looking in the wrong place." Sara smiled shyly, and before she knew it Catherine's lips were on hers again. Just as soon as they appeared, they were gone. "This is okay, right?" Cath asked, suddenly nervous. She didn't want to overstep the line or make a fool of herself. But to her relief, Sara was smiling. _

"_It's more than okay." She answered, leaning in again. This kiss started out just as soft and sweet, but a tentative stroke of the tongue turned into a more confident exploration. Soon they were lost in each other's embrace, revelling in the taste of the kiss. _

_They eventually broke free for air and that quiet settled on them again, more shy this time. _

"_Out of curiosity," Cath asked after a while, "how long have you felt like this? About me?"_

"_How long have we known each other?" It took Catherine a whole minute to figure out that Sara's question was the answer to her own. _

"_That long?" She asked, incredulous. Sara nodded. "Why didn't you say anything?" Sara shrugged. _

"_I thought you were straight." She explained simply. Cath chuckled. _

"_So did I." They shared a smile. Cath rested her head against Sara's gently. "What are we doing, girl?" she asked softly. Sara resisted the urge to kiss her again. Instead, as hard as it was, she said:_

"_We don't have to do anything you don't want to. We could just end it here." She offered, praying beyond all hope that Catherine did not want that. _

_And for the first time in her life, her prayer came true. Catherine looked up at her. _

"_I want you." _

X x x

_She had expected the usual feelings of regret and guilt that arrive upon waking up after a night with someone new. And those dreaded thoughts lingering in the back of her mind that it wasn't right, it wasn't _her_._

_But the only unpleasant feeling she had when she woke up in bed that afternoon was the feeling of waking up after a wonderful dream and knowing it was over._

_And that feeling faded into a beaming smile, when she saw who was curled up on her couch. She remembered now. They had finished the wine, shared a few giggles, a few stolen kisses. And Sara had been the perfect lady and put her to bed. And evidently decided against driving home, which was probably for the best given her not so secret track record. _

_Leaning over the back of the sofa, she stroked Sara's brunette bangs out of her face. Brown eyes blinked open and turned to look up at her. _

"_Hey there sunshine." Cath grinned, using a very old nickname that Nicky had coined for Sara once upon a time. Sara didn't speak, she just smiled lazily and reached up to Catherine's face. Her fingers sought out the rose, still tucked protectively into loose blonde curls. She untangled it easily and held it up for Catherine. _

"_Happy Valentine's Day."_


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The boys crept back in a couple of hours later, once they were sure that the nurse had finished her shift, and there were smiles all around when they laid eyes on the sight before them.

Catherine was sound asleep in the bed with Sara, who was curled into her arms like a cat. The brunette's head was tucked into the crook of Cath's neck, and Catherine had wrapped her arms so tightly around Sara that it was a miracle she could still breathe. Together, they looked like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle which had finally manage to find each other and stick together. In their sleep, both looked perfectly contented.

They looked happy.

Not wanting to disturb them, they sat down quietly on or next to the bed and watched them sleep. Catherine awoke first.

X x x

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around her slightly dazed. Finally her sleepy eyes found Sara and she smiled softly.

"Grissom?" She asked at last, her smile fading.

"I think he went back to the lab." Warrick said. He was sat on the other side of the bed, opposite from Cath, and had a hand resting gently on Sara's side. The heat from her body emanated through the thin hospital blanket, infusing into his skin. It was a comforting sensation; it was a sign of life.

"Good." Catherine sighed. She shuffled into more of a sitting position, pulling Sara with her. The result was Catherine leaning back against the headboard, the pillow propped up behind her, and Sara curled up in her lap. If her broken arm was giving her any pain she didn't seem to notice, as she tucked it obliviously against Cath's leg. She mumbled a little in her sleep as Cath rearranged her, but that was all; she never woke up.

"Nothing happened that night." Cath said at last. The boys frowned, not understanding, until she continued. "That first night, at my place. We talked, and either I fell asleep or I started to. She took me upstairs, put me to bed. Slept on the couch." She smiled at the memory of finding her there. "When we woke up we just ... talked." She swallowed and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear self-consciously. It felt weird to talk about these special moments with the guys, but the heavy silence was choking her. She had to talk about something to stop from suffocating and right now the only thing she wanted to talk about was Sara. So she talked.

"She's amazing. This was my first relationship with," she swallowed again, "another woman. And she was great; she let me set the pace, never pressed me to do anything I wasn't ready for. It's been a very long time since I found myself as the less experienced one." She chuckled nervously. Warrick and Greg laughed, Nick shuffled. He never was very good at these sorts of conversations. But Catherine continued obliviously.

"She's so sweet. She just ... I wake up sometimes and there's a rose on the bed, or go downstairs and she's made breakfast for me. Or at work, there'll be a bouquet of flowers on my desk, or a little note in my locker." She babbled with a smile.

"Wait." Nick interrupted. "So, a few weeks ago when there was a note tacked to your locker door, that was Sara?" He asked. She grinned and nodded, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks. She could recite that note off by heart and it still made her stomach flip.

"Man, and I was going to read that too." Greg sighed, picturing the words in his head. (The wrong words!) Cath laughed.

"Well you'd have had a shock if you had." She said. Greg's eyes widened, and she suddenly realised what she had implied. She swatted him around the ear. "Not like that!" She exclaimed. Nick and Warrick chuckled. "She's actually very romantic." Cath sighed, snuggling closer to her sleeping girlfriend.

"Sara? Romantic?" Warrick asked. It wasn't so much that that thought was weird, just unexpected. Cath seemed to understand what he meant.

"I know, I wasn't expecting it either. But then I wasn't expecting to spend Valentine's day with her."

They drifted into a moment's reflective silence. The boys were contemplating everything they had just learnt. Apparently, though completely unknowingly, they had been witness to the blossoming of a very special relationship. None could remember seeing Catherine like this before. Not just that she was happier, but she was more ... subdued. More relaxed.

And it was not just Catherine. Now that they thought about it, Sara had been happier too. She had been more settled, almost at peace with herself.

When Catherine had first outed them to the group, to say they were shocked was an understatement. It had just seemed wrong at the time. Cath and Sara had always had their moments of friendship and their moments of strife. The guys had actually joked amongst themselves at one time that maybe the answer to the girls' tension was a more physical approach. But they had never thought that might actually work. It seemed to them that Catherine and Sara together would be a recipe for fire: either they'd fight and fall out for good, or they'd drive each other to the mental asylum, or they'd kill each other. They were just too different, polar opposites.

But seeing them now, they could see how that worked in their favour. Catherine was moody and fiery, and temperamental. Sara was volatile, and stubborn, and closed off.

However, Sara was also sensitive and at times quite laid back. And Catherine was persistent, and warm, and mothering.

Sara's relaxed attitude could deal with Catherine's moods, maybe even solve them. And she could keep the older woman satisfied, both physically and emotionally. As a result, Cath was less up and down. She remained pretty happy all the time and less likely to fly off the handle.

Catherine, in return, could bring Sara out of her shell and help her to deal with her problems. And could take care of her, and make sure she is looked after. The end result: a physically and emotionally healthy Sara Sidle.

They each had their good and bad qualities, but it seemed that they each had the key to fixing them. They were like Yin and Yang, they balanced each other.

And that thought showed why Sara had survived. She had to, for Catherine.

Because like heart and mind; without one, the other cannot survive.

X x x

Nick cleared his throat, a thought popping into his head. "So, this is for good right? I mean, its forever?" He asked, eyeing the girls closely. Cath laughed softly.

"Well, we haven't really talked about it, but..." she smiled, "yeah. I think it is." The boys smiled too. "After yesterday, I don't think I could live without her. She's my other half." She said, echoing the thoughts of the boys. "I love her. I haven't told her this, but I've never felt this about anyone. She could do anything to me and I'd still stay with her."

A small sleepy murmur brought their eyes down to the brunette.

"Is that right, Miss Willows?"


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

_**February 28th, 18:57**_

"_You like Sara right?" Catherine asked her daughter nonchalantly as they cleaned up after dinner. Lindsey shrugged. _

"_I guess." She said, putting a dried plate away. Cath handed her another one that she had just washed. _

"_I know you haven't spent a lot of time with her, but she's okay right? You get on with her." Cath started to babble. Lindsey scrutinised her suspiciously. _

"_I guess." She repeated. "Why?" Cath tried and failed to stop the blush creeping onto her cheeks. She had not had a conversation this awkward with her daughter since their little talk about the birds and the bees. She dried her hands and took Lindsey's wrist lightly, tugging her to the table and encouraging her to sit down. Taking a seat opposite her, Cath took her hands lightly. "Mom?" The teenager asked, slightly concerned now. _

"_Honey, you know that I'd always put you first, right? You are my priority."_

"_I know." Lindsey whispered. This really sounded serious now. "What's going on?" _

"_Well," she started thoughtfully – she wanted to find the right words to do this, "recently I've started to spend more time with Sara. And ... turns out we have a lot in common." Lindsey nodded along, not catching on to what her mother was trying to tell her. Realising that dancing around it was not going to get her anywhere, Catherine decided to get straight to the point. Taking a deep breath, she went for broke. "We've started seeing each other." She waited patiently for a minute, watching this sink in on her daughter's features. Lindsey was quiet for a moment. _

"_You're dating her?" She said at last. Cath nodded slowly. Without another word the fourteen year old left the table and walked out. Cath listened to her footsteps fading upstairs and the bedroom door slam. She dropped her head onto the table despondently. _

_That had gone well. _

X x x

_Cath wandered around the house in a daze, absently tidying things that didn't need tidying. She had debated going after Lindsey and trying to talk to her, but decided that the girl might need to some space to get her head around it. If that was possible for her. _

_Cath and Sara had talked extensively about Lindsey and Sara agreed, insisted in fact, that they had to put her feelings first. If Lindsey wasn't okay with it then it ended here. End of. And if that was the case then they would both have to deal with it. _

_She really hoped that wasn't the case. _

_Abandoning the cleaning and dropping onto the couch, she brooded miserably, contemplating her current situation. It had only been a couple of weeks, and Cath had had her heart broken enough times to know not to let her guard down just yet, but she couldn't help trusting Sara. Apart from the fact that they had known each other a long time, the brunette was being so sweet about everything. She was being so patient, and thoughtful, and understanding. _

_It was early days, but Catherine really thought that this could work out. She had never fallen for anyone so fast, and she felt truly safe with Sara. _

_The rule of dating had always been that if Lindsey didn't like them they went. Simple as. But this was the first time that Catherine could recall that she would have a problem if that were true. Normally she accepted it as a fact of life, said goodbye, and never looked back. _

_But she had serious doubts that she would be able to say goodbye this time._

X x x

_She was still on the couch, sulking quietly, when Lindsey crept back downstairs and situated herself on the coffee table. Cath eyed her carefully and tried to offer an understanding smile. Lindsey didn't smile back. _

"_You really like her?" She asked quietly. Cath frowned slightly and leant forward. _

"_Yeah. I do." She answered softly. "But you come first. If you're not happy about this then we'll end it." She assured her not-so-little girl. Linds looked thoughtful for a moment. Eventually she spoke. _

"_It's okay with me." Catherine looked up sharply, her eyes wide. _

"_Really?" She asked, just having to make sure she had heard correctly. _

"_Yeah." She nodded. Cath beamed at her. Uncertainly, she reached out and wrapped her daughter in her arms. Lindsey returned the hug, nestling her face in the crook of her mother's neck. "As long as I don't have to watch you guys making out." She mumbled. Catherine chuckled and tickled her sides playfully. _

"_Deal." _

X x x

_That night Catherine practically floated into work. She sailed into the locker room and was thrilled to find that the only occupant was her darling Sara. Without a word she wrapped her arms around the semi-dressed brunette's shoulders from behind, making her jump. _

"_Hi." She hummed, kissing the back of her shoulder. _

"_Hi." Sara returned with a puzzled smile. "You're happy today." She noted, extracting herself from the blonde's grip and pulling her t-shirt over her head. _

"_Hmm." Cath agreed dreamily, planting herself on the bench. _

"_Care to share?" Sara asked, sitting next to her. Cath grinned. _

"_I talked to Lindsey." Sara nodded in understanding. _

"_Ah. She took it well?" She guessed. _

"_Not at first." Cath answered honestly, taking Sara's hand. "But yeah, she went to her room, thought about it. And she came round to the idea. But we might have to be careful around her, you know? Not be too affectionate in front of her. At least until she gets used to the idea." _

"_Hmm, think I can manage that." Sara smiled. Cath smiled too and placed a soft kiss on her lips. _

"_Thank you." She whispered, but before she could explain what for the excited chatter of the boys approaching saw them tear apart just in time. _


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**September 28th; 3:40pm**

"Mom?" Lindsey voice startled them all and they tore their eyes away from the awakening Sara, to the teenager in the doorway.

"Hey Kiddo." Sara mumbled, holding out a hand vaguely in the direction of the girl. Lindsey made a beeline for the bed but instead of taking the offered hand she opted for wrapping her arms around Sara's neck in a tight strangle hold.

"You're okay." It was more of a statement than a question, murmured into Sara's skin.

"Of course – take more than a two tonne mustang to keep me down." Sara joked, nuzzling her head. Catherine rubbed circles on her daughter's back, smiling at the tender moment between her favourite girls.

Despite the fact that her heart was soaring right now, Cath knew that she really had to put Sara's health first and reluctantly pulled Lindsey away by the back of her clothes.

"Baby, don't hurt her." She chastised lightly. Lindsey loosened her grip, but didn't let go altogether. After exchanging small talk with everyone, and checking several times that Sara really was alright, Lindsey turned to her mother.

"Can I go get a drink?" She asked Cath sweetly. Catherine rolled her eyes and handed her some change from her pocket. Lindsey grinned and kissed Sara's cheek affectionately before bounding over to the door...

...and nearly running Grissom down.

X x x

He didn't quite seem sure what he was doing there, so opted for shuffling his feet nervously in the doorway. The first that Catherine knew he was even there was from the guys uncertain glances between each other.

"What are you doing here?" she asked bluntly, not trying in the slightest to hide her contempt when she finally saw him.

"I came to see Sara." He stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why's he here?" The young brunette mumbled, struggling to sit up.

"It's okay sweetie," Catherine hushed Sara, tightening her grip, "he's just leaving." She finished, fixing the greying man with a pointed glare. Grissom took no notice and stepped closer to the bed, and actually managed to look shocked as Sara moved away from him, shuffling closer to Warrick.

"I'm here for you Sara." He repeated, moving closer still. Sara sat further up, wedging herself tightly between Cath and Warrick.

"I want you to go." She said quietly.

"Sara..."

"I don't want you here!" She cut him off, her whole body trembling. Catherine stood up slowly, stepping up to Gil.

"She hasn't asked much of you." The blonde stated quietly. Getting the hint Grissom nodded carefully and slinked back out of the room, shooting Sara a look mixed with confusion and remorse.

Catherine gave the boys a look which they understood as 'watch over her' and followed him out without another word.

"Cath..." Sara squeaked, reaching out a hand to her girlfriend, but Catherine didn't look back. Warrick wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders to hold her in place.

"She'll be back." Nick assured her, placing a kiss on her forehead.

X x x

"Hey!" Catherine hollered down the corridor, causing Grissom to halt his motions. He turned around slowly, and stepped back when he saw Catherine approaching with a face of thunder. "She was in a state yesterday because of you." She kept her voice low, but the undertones made her point quite clear. They warned him not to mess with her right now.

"I was just trying to help." He muttered. She released a short, sharp laugh – a noise that sent shivers down Grissom's spine.

"You...she was..." She stumbled over her words, stopping to catch her breath and organise her thoughts. Swallowing hard, she waved a finger at him viciously. "You know something; Sara and I were on cloud nine until you stuck your oar in. We have not had a single fight in seven months of being together. Except one. And that was because of you!" she snapped, making him jump.

"What did I do?" He asked innocently.

"What did you do?" She parroted with disbelief. "You can't leave her alone, Gil. Every time I turn around you're there, all over her." A ghost of a smile appeared on Grissom's face, and disappeared just as quickly.

"You think she'd cheat on you? You don't trust her." He pointed out. Cath shook her head.

"No, her I trust infinitely. It's you I don't trust." She corrected bluntly. He looked hurt but she didn't stop there. "You know, I always knew that you had a thing for her, and I always kind of figured that one day you'd realise what you'd lost and come back for it. But I thought that you'd want what's best for her; what she wants. "Tears were stinging at her eyes now."I actually had the deluded idea that you might be happy for us. Clearly I was wrong." She sighed and turned to walk back to Sara's room. Just before she got to the door she stopped and turned back to him with a calm, even voice. "I never thought I'd have to choose between my best friend and my girlfriend. But you know what hurts even more than that? The fact that that decision is the easiest I've ever had to make. I'd give up my whole world for Sara."

X x x

Not long after, the boys left again, promising to drop Lindsey off at her grandmother's house so the ladies could have some 'alone time' as Greg so aptly put it.

The first thing Catherine did when they were left alone was to kiss Sara, long and slow.

"I love you." She whispered. Sara smiled a sweet, tired smile.

"So I heard." Cath chuckled nervously.

"Don't you know it's impolite to eavesdrop?" She nudged Sara playfully. The brunette didn't answer; she simply took Catherine's hand and interlocked their fingers.

"So," she murmured eventually. "I can do anything I like, huh?"


	19. Chapter 18

**Sorry it's short, but new chap tomorrow I promise. Hope y'all enjoying it and thank you so much for all the reviews :) **

**x x x x**

**Chapter 18**

_**February 26th**_

"_What's wrong with you?" Nancy asked suspiciously. _

"_What?" Cath turned to her, dishcloth in hand. _

"_You're happy." Nancy raised an eyebrow. "Are you high?" Catherine laughed. _

"_No. Am I not allowed to be happy?" She asked, whisking Nancy's half-empty coffee cup out of her hands and washing it up. Nance looked from her now empty hand to her sister. _

"_Yeah, but you're not normally. Something's wrong." _

"_Nothing's wrong." Cath sang, staring absently out of the window at Lindsey and Jeremy trading songs or something of the like on their iPods. Nancy scrutinised her for a moment: the way she was dancing around the room, the extra sway in her hips, the way she'd hum to herself when lost in thought. She'd been like this for days now and it was getting worse. When a thought struck her, she couldn't believe it hadn't crossed her mind earlier. _

"_You're in love." Catherine stopped dancing and spun around. _

"_What?" She squeaked. _

"_I knew it!" Nancy laughed gleefully. "You've got that look. You're in love!" Catherine flushed hot red. "Who is it?" _

"_No one. And I'm not in love." _

"_Come on." Nance scoffed. _

"_I'm not. But I might be getting close to it." Cath admitted with a smile. Nancy made a whistling noise and laughed when her sister swatted her arm playfully. _

"_So, who's Mr maybe right?" _

"_Ah, someone very sweet, and special, and so beautiful." Catherine sighed dreamily. Nancy raised an eyebrow. "She's so amazing; I've never met anyone like..."_

"_She!" Nancy barked. Catherine snapped back from the happy place she had been in and blushed when she realised what she had accidently admitted. "You're dating a woman?" _

"_Maybe?" she answered with a grin. _

"_You...you're _in love_ with a woman?" The younger sister asked, incredulous. _

"_I think I might be." Catherine agreed. _

"_You think? Wait, who is she?" _

"_Sara." Cath answered with a smile. _

"_Sara? Sara Sidle? That girl who you're always talking about." Another thought struck her. "That girl who's how much younger than you?" _

"_A few years." Cath conceded. "But that's beside the point. And anyway, it's early days yet. I haven't even told Lindsey yet." _

"_But you are sure about this."_

"_I don't know. It's only been a couple of weeks; it's too soon to tell. I really like her Nance." Cath confessed. "I mean, I _really_ like her."_

"_Just be careful. You know you always did fall for people too fast." She warned her sister. _

"_Not like this." The strawberry blonde shook her head. "She's so ... I've never felt like this about anyone before. Not even Eddie." Nancy rolled her eyes at the mention of his name. "I saw that!" Cath pointed out, but let it slide. "Sara's so sweet and sensitive. And passionate. And ... amazing." She left Nancy in reality to deal with everything she had just heard, while she disappeared back to dreamland. _


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**October 1st**

"Stop moving!" Catherine barked.

"But it hurts!" Sara contested, squirming away. Cath placed her hands on her shoulders and forced her still.

"Well it wouldn't hurt as much if you'd stay still and let me get on with it."

"No, it would hurt even more because I'd be at your mercy then." Sara pouted miserably. Catherine leant down close to Sara's ear and whispered;

"You're always at my mercy Miss Sidle." The brunette shuddered, but Cath took no notice and sat back up on her knees on the bed. "Now sit still and let me finish." Sara sighed but sat still anyway, sulking quietly. Catherine nodded appreciatorily and continued her work.

She dabbed the antiseptic soaked cotton wool on the many cuts littering Sara's body. Sara had left hospital three days ago and though they were healing well, her wounds still needed to be treated every day... despite Sara's protests.

"I could do this myself you know." She mumbled.

"I like doing this for you." Cath answered, sweeping the cotton wool across a deep scratch along Sara's shoulder blade. "I want to help you. So just stay still and let me help."

The younger woman did as she was told and sat still, biting her bottom lip to distract herself from the stinging pain.

"Good girl." Cath smiled. Once she was finished she kissed Sara's lips and sat back on her heels.

And thus began their next daily routine: getting dressed. Sara tried to pull her jeans on, with little success. She still had a cast on her right arm, and her muscles were still sore and bruised from her ordeal. "Need some help?" Catherine offered, though she knew the answer. Same as yesterdays.

"No, I'm good." Sara muttered, struggling with the garment. Cath had clambered off the bed and was stood with her hands on her hips, watching her girlfriend's battle. A small smile twitched at her lips when Sara dropped her arms and sighed. "Yes please." Cath helped her get dressed, letting her fingers linger on the buttons a little longer than necessary. She made as if to give Sara her shirt, but held it out of reach and leant close to her face instead.

"You know, you could save us both some time tomorrow and just let me help you." Cath whispered into her ear, nuzzling her neck softly. Sara glowered.

"I'm fine. I don't need help." The brunette insisted.

"You nearly landed on your ass getting out of the shower this morning." Cath pointed out.

"I'd have been okay. You didn't need to burst through the door like a bat out of hell."

"I was worried." Cat pouted.

"You were waiting." Sara countered.

"I just want to help you. I can't fix your arm or turn back the clock a week, but I can help you get dressed." She kissed her neck.

"I can manage. I don't need help." Sara reiterated. Not interested in having this discussion again, Cath rolled her eyes and stood up straight, running a hand through Sara's hair.

"You still sure you won't let me..."

"No." Sara cut her off, ending her attempt to change the subject, while still trying to get her shirt back.

"Honey I promise it won't hurt, just let me try it." Cath begged, crouching down in front of the bed again.

"No."

"Please." She sent Sara a smile that she knew made the brunette melt. "I promise you it will help." She grinned when she knew she had won. "I'll be right back." Cath announced, bouncing out of the room.

Alone, Sara nodded absently, lost in thought. She never was a very good patient, and she certainly has never been good at asking for help. She knew that Catherine was only trying to help, but it was unusual for Sara; she wasn't used to people wanting to help her without expecting something in return and she had yet to figure out what Cath wanted from her.

Or if she even wanted anything.

X x x

"Just lay still." Cath instructed softly. Sara was now laid on her stomach on the bed, her head resting on her folded arms. The blonde's hands hovered over the bare skin before her, her fingertips just barely tracing Sara's spine down her back. She felt Sara tremble ever so slightly at the faint touch. Applying more pressure; she started at the base of her back, gently massaging the muscles. At first she could feel Sara tense up, but gradually she began to relax. Cath's hands trailed slowly further up, kneading the skin along its trek. When she got to Sara's bra strap she unhooked it in one swift move and softened her movements, knowing where Sara's sensitive spots where. Finally her fingers found the base of Sara's neck, abandoning the massage to tangle themselves in the soft curls residing there. Unable to resist, Catherine bent down and kissed the back of her neck, trailing her tongue around to her shoulder, her throat. Sara purred softly, stretching out like a cat to allow Catherine more access.

"See," Cath murmured against the shell of her ear, "I told you it would make you feel better." Her tongue darted out, causing Sara to jump slightly at the unexpected contact against her ear. Catherine was now practically lying over her, albeit being careful not to hurt her. Sara started to roll over, catching Cath's lips in a kiss. She fumbled with the buttons on Cat's blouse, letting it fall open revealing the pale skin beneath. The blonde's hands roamed freely now, stroking at the scarred and smooth skin without discrimination.

"Ahem!" the girls jumped, turning to the door with a look of horror at their unexpected guest.

"Gil!"


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

_**April 2nd**_

_Catherine blinked her eyes open slowly. A smile graced her lips as she laid eyes on her sleeping partner. Sara had her arms wrapped around the blonde's back and her head nestled into her hair. Cath grinned and shuffled closer, placing a kiss on Sara's forehead. The younger woman smiled and a moment later her eyes fluttered open. _

"_Morning." She mumbled sleepily. _

"_Afternoon." Cath retorted, nuzzling her face gently. As Sara began to shuffle in her semi-awake state, it dawned on Cath that she could feel every curve; at some point of the morning it seemed their bodies had fused together. Rolling over, Cath pressed her back against Sara's chest, folding her strong arms around her like a belt. She revelled in the comfort, enjoying being able to feel every time Sara breathed and every beat of her heart against her back. _

_This was only the second time they had slept together; after Catherine's birthday things had gotten a little crazy at work and they hadn't had much time together. And those few days had been hell for Cath – she had never craved someone's touch so much in her life. _

_Since they hadn't much time to talk either, they had not discussed the three little words Sara had let slip. Catherine knew how she felt about Sara and was thrilled to hear that Sara felt the same. But, as she was finding, getting information out of the brunette was like getting blood from a stone. She knew Sara loved her, but she didn't know if that meant this was permanent. _

_Taking a chance, Cath turned onto her stomach in Sara's arms to look at her young girlfriend. "So Sar, are you interested in seeing more of me?" she tried (and failed) to sound blasé. _

"_There's more?" Sara asked cheekily, earning her a light smack on the shoulder. _

"_You know what I mean." Cath chuckled, snuggling against her. "Lindsey's okay with this, and Nancy's ... dealing with it." She explained, drawing an invisible pattern on Sara's chest with her fingertip. "So, before we consider telling anyone else...how serious is this?" _

_Sara hummed thoughtfully, tightening her grip. _

"_That depends...how long do you want me for?" she answered. Cath frowned, until she realised what Sara was saying. _

"_So, you reckon we can make a proper go of this? Long term?" The blonde queried. _

"_Catherine, I'm yours for as long as you want me." Sara spelt it out to her with a sleepy smile. Cath grinned back at her. _

"_Really?" She asked curiously, kissing her neck softly. _

"_I love you." Sara murmured, swallowing a moan. Catherine stopped her ministrations and looked at Sara closely. She wanted desperately to repeat those words, the words she had been dying to hear again, but they would not rise. So instead she threw herself on top of the brunette, kissing her with a passion she thought she had long since lost. _

_And it was that moment, lost in the heat of the flames, that the door swung open. _

"_Catherine!" _

X x x

"_Mom!" Catherine squealed, rolling off Sara and tugging the covers tight around them. Sara seemed to slink under the blanket, a shy blush on her face. Lily didn't even acknowledge Sara, she fixed Catherine with a stern glare and walked back out. Cath winced as the door slammed behind her. _

_She turned to Sara with an apologetic look. _

"_I'm sorry honey; I have to deal with this." She kissed her quickly, all their earlier fire smothered. She stood up, allowing Sara a brief glimpse of her flesh, before donning a robe. "I'll be back. Stay here." She kissed her again and slipped out, taking a deep breath for what was about to come. _

_Cath crept downstairs cautiously, getting a sudden sense of déjà vu. This felt just like the time Lily caught her in bed with the teaching assistant when she was 16. That was not a fun day. _

_That feeling only got worse when she reached the lounge to find her mother waiting for her on the couch, that same 'You're in big trouble Missy' look on her face. _

"_You know next time you might want to knock." Cath joked nervously, trying to break the ice. It didn't work. Her mother just stared at her while she toyed with the belt of her robe timidly. God, now she was acting like a 16 year old too. _

"_Maybe I will. Otherwise I might catch you in bed with a woman. Oh, too late." Lily said dryly. Cath sighed and moved carefully closer to sit on the other end of the couch. "So what? You're a lesbian now? Is that what you're telling me?" Cath shrugged helplessly. _

"_I ... I don't know. This is ... different." She settled on at last. _

"_You're telling me." Lily scoffed. "That girl, she's from your work. Sara someone?" _

"_Sara Sidle." Cath answered, her voice suddenly hoarse. That tended to happen now when she spoke Sara's name. _

"_So, you're going to risk everything you've worked for, and throw it all away for some floozy you met at work!" Anger flashed through Cath's eyes. _

"_She's not a floozy!" she snapped._

"_So what is it then? Midlife crisis?" Lily asked, throwing her hands up. All Cath could do was shake her head despondently. _

"_I don't know what this is okay, we're still finding our feet with it."_

"_You're a middle-aged single mother and she's a twenty something year old girl. You really think that'll work?" The older woman asked incredulously. _

"_She's 35." Catherine corrected. "And yes, I do." She answered honestly. _

"_Why are you doing this Catherine? Is this just another way of punishing me for not being there for you more? Stripping, drugs, Eddie. That didn't work so now you're going to sleep with a woman." _

"_No, this is not about you, mom. This is about Sara and I and we..." she trailed off. "Neither of us expected this to happen, it just did. And Sara has been so good to me these last few weeks." _

"_Oh, so this has been going on for weeks?" Lily asked. "And when were you planning on telling me? Hmm? That my eldest daughter has switched sides." _

"_I haven't 'switched sides'." Cath sighed. "I just...I really like Sara. And I know that if you got to know her you would too."_

"_Oh this is just classic behaviour isn't it Catherine. You rush into something new and dangerous, and you get your heart broken. You never think about the consequences." Lily stated, beginning to pace. _

"_You don't understand mom, we haven't rushed anything. And I know what I'm doing here. This can work. It will work." She insisted, rising to her feet. _

"_Catherine I don't want you pinning your future on this girl!" _

"_That almost sounded like an order." Catherine challenged. Lily just raised an eyebrow. Cath groaned and dropped back down onto the couch. "I'm 45. I'm hardly going to start looking for someone new now am I? Sara and I have known each other for years, I trust her." She paused thoughtfully, before descending on a different track. "When I found out about you and Sam you said to me that you two had a history together and that one day I would understand. Well now I do."_

"_This is not the same thing Cathy." Lily protested. "You're risking your heart on a chance that might never work." _

"_But it might."_

"_Yes it might." Lily conceded with a sigh. "But is that really a chance you're willing to take?" _

"_Yes." If Catherine's immediate, and somewhat forceful answer startled Lily then her next statement shocked her to the core. Finally, the words that had eluded her earlier found their voice. "Because I love her." _

**x x x x**

_**:)**_


	22. Chapter 21

**Hi all :) thank you for the reviews. **

**You can find out why Grissom walked in on our lovely ladies now...**

**x x x x **

**Chapter 21**

**October 1st**

"What the hell?" Catherine barked, clambering ungracefully off the bed, her shirt hanging open. Sara sat up slowly, immediately covering herself with her own shirt. "Who let you in?" The blonde demanded.

"Lindsey – she asked me to tell you she's gone to her friend's. The guys are downstairs." Grissom answered, eyeing the girls suspiciously.

"So you thought you'd just let yourself into our bedroom?" Cath snapped, doing up the buttons on her shirt when she caught him staring at her.

"I was looking for you." He stated simply. "But I wasn't expecting to find you like this." He raised an eyebrow. Sara blushed furiously. Cath just matched his expression.

"Get downstairs." She barked at him, making him jump.

He trailed downstairs like a little boy in trouble, followed by the blonde, where the boys were waiting for them. Sara had stayed upstairs to finish getting dressed. She addressed the boys without so much as a hello, waving an arm in Grissom's direction.

"Who brought him?"

The boys looked at their feet nervously. Grissom answered for himself.

"I thought she might have calmed down by now. I wanted to apologise." He mumbled. Catherine chuckled.

"Really? And you think that'll make it better?" He looked almost hurt at her words, but she just shook her head. "Don't worry about it Gil; Sara and I have more important things to worry about than you."

"I'd noticed." He raised an eyebrow, looking her up and down. Catherine and the boys followed his line of sight. Her eyes widened – she'd missed a button on her shirt, a telltale sign of what they had been getting up to. Nick turned beetroot and Warrick chuckled softly. Greg's face broke out in a big grin. She folded her arms across her chest indignantly.

"Not the point." She grumbled. The uncomfortable moment was interrupted by Sara appearing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey Sara." Nick chirped, glad of the distraction.

"Hey there stud." Greg chimed in, that cheeky grin still in place. Sara sent him a puzzled smile.

"Hi, Greg." She answered slowly.

"Sara, how're you feeling?" Grissom asked, holding her arm uncertainly as she descended the last few steps.

"I'm okay." She smiled softly, not entirely comfortable with the contact but letting him help her anyway. Catherine made a noise analogous to a grunt and not-so-subtly stepped between them. She interlocked her hand with Sara's, tugging her to the couch. Sensing the animosity in the room, Warrick decided to break the ice.

"We just wanted to come see how our girl was doing." He gestured to the brunette, making himself comfortable in an armchair. Nick and Greg sat down too; Greggo situating himself next to Sara. Grissom did what he did best – he hovered.

"I'm okay. A little sore." She answered, semi-honestly. Catherine knew that she was more than a little sore; she was in rather a lot of pain to be truthful.

"Good." Nicky nodded. "Certainly gave us a fright though." He chuckled softly. Another understatement, but Sara knew what he meant. This was the first time they had really had a chance to see her since she left the hospital, so they hadn't had a chance to talk to her about it. They had been worried that it might be uncomfortable, but Sara seemed okay with it all. Cath and Griss on the other hand...

"Anyone fancy something to eat?" Greg asked chirpily, in an attempt to break all the tension.

"Yeah, I'll give you a hand." Sara offered, heading towards the kitchen with him.

"Well give me the left hand, 'cause the right one isn't a lot of good right now." He joked, and the team laughed as they caught the tail end of Sara's responding remark.

With Sara out of earshot, Grissom sat on the other end of the couch and fixed Catherine with a look.

"What?" She asked, not even glancing up at him.

"What you were doing upstairs," he started, and Nick could feel that heat returning to his cheeks again, "is that wise? I mean with Sara only just out of hospital." He regretted the comment as soon as he saw the look on Cath's face.

"How strong do you think I am? I'm not going to break her Gil." She pointed out.

"But she's still delicate." Cath rolled her eyes.

"God, you're lucky she can't hear you." She said. "She's not fully healed no, but she's not made of glass."

"I just don't think you should be fooling around just yet." He explained carefully, choosing his words carefully. Cath ran a hand through her hair.

"Who put you in charge of our sex life?" she asked exasperatedly.

"She has a point Griss." Warrick chimed in. Cath waved a hand at him to say she could handle it.

"I am taking care of her Gil, my way. I'm not doing anything that is going to hurt her." She answered coolly. "But you need to butt out of our relationship. Sara is my responsibility and I can take care of her myself."

"I want to help Catherine." He repeated adamantly.

"We don't need your help." She sent back, more venomously than she had intended. She sighed. "Look Gil, whether you like it or not Sara is _my_ girlfriend, not yours. You have to accept that if she needs looking after it's for me to do, not you." She explained, softer than before.

Nick and Warrick shuffled uncomfortably in their seats while Grissom and Catherine continued staring each other down.

X x x

A little while after the boys had left; Catherine and Sara found themselves laid on the bed together, just relaxing in each other's arms. Sara turned to look up at Cath, who had her eyes closed but wasn't asleep.

"Cat?" She queried.

"Hmm?"

"What you said earlier, about taking care of me..." Catherine opened her eyes and looked down at Sara curiously. "I heard you talking to Grissom." Sara explained. "...That's not how you see me is it? As needing to be looked after?" She asked, propping herself up on one elbow.

"Of course not honey," Cath sighed, mirroring her position. "I just meant that I didn't need his help looking out for you. Besides, I like taking care of you." She finished, brushing a stray curl from Sara's eyes. "I love you."

"I know." Sara murmured. "It's just ... I don't need looking after. I can take care of myself." She insisted.

"I know that. But just because you can doesn't mean you have to." Cath smiled. "Just let me make a fuss over you for a while, you never know, you might even start to like it." She grinned, nudging Sara playfully.

"I don't like being fussed over." Sara said. "I'm perfectly capable of taking a shower and dressing myself without help." Cath stopped smiling and nodded.

"I know Love; I just want to make you feel better." She placed a kiss on Sara's lips. "I'll try to stop, but I'm not promising anything." She half-joked. Sara nestled against her and closed her eyes.

"Thank you."

X x x

"No...Please no..." it was so quiet that she probably wouldn't have heard it if she was asleep, but since she had been lying awake for the past hour she caught the sound.

"Sara?" Cath asked, rolling onto her side. Sara had her back to her but in the dimness she could see that the brunette was shaking.

This was not uncommon. Catherine had realised fairly quickly that nightmares were par for the course when sleeping with Sara. They were not a regular thing, or particularly serious, but did occasionally happen. It seemed that it was mainly after a tough case, although once she discovered the truth of Sara's past she realised what they were really about.

She threw an arm over Sara, letting her fingers massage the soft skin of her stomach. "Baby wake up." She whispered. She had learnt that shaking, prodding and shouting at Sara didn't work. You had to let her wake up in her own time, and try to keep her in one piece after that. Who knew, sometimes Cath even managed to calm her down without waking her.

But not this time. Sara awoke with a start, gasping for air. Catherine sat up slowly, her hand still resting on her girlfriend's stomach. "It's okay sweetie. It's alright." To her complete surprise Sara practically fell into her arms, clutching onto her with superhuman strength. "Hey, it's okay baby. I'm here." She mumbled into Sara's hair. It dawned on her that this was the first nightmare since Sara told Catherine the truth about her family. And it was the first time that Sara had ever let her comfort her after a nightmare. Maybe, now that she knew the real story, Sara felt she could drop the illusion and let Catherine in. Maybe, just maybe, she had broken the spell.

She had broken down Sara Sidle's walls.


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

_**July 3rd**_

_Catherine awoke with a start. Sitting up, she tried to gather her bearings in the darkness. She was in Sara's apartment. More specifically, Sara's bed. And it didn't take long to figure out what had awoken her. Sara. _

_The young brunette was laid on her side mumbling to herself anxiously. _

"_What's wrong honey?" Catherine asked, propping herself up on an elbow. The only answer she got was more disjointed words. Leaning over her, she deduced that Sara was still asleep. She gently tried to brush a strand of loose hair from her face, but Sara obviously did not like the contact, because she lashed out with a hand, causing Catherine to jump back. Sara balled her fists back up against her chest, almost as if she was ready to defend herself against an attacker. Cath sat up fully again and tried to touch her again, with much the same result. She decided on a different tactic. _

"_Sara, baby. Wake up." She said, running a hand up her thigh gently. The girl's response was to curl up in a ball and turn further away. Running out of ideas, Catherine gripped her shoulder and shook her, not too hard but hard enough to disturb her sleep ... or so you'd assume. _

_But no, Sara slept on. She was tossing and turning more feverishly now and Cath was all out of ideas. When Sara cried out, a heartbreaking sound akin to a lost puppy, Catherine instinctively laid a hand on her stomach, and Sara leapt awake, scuttling to the top of the bed until her back hit the headboard. Her dark eyes were wide in the dim light as they searched the room fearfully. Catherine, relieved that she was awake, touched her arm, causing her to pull away with such force that she practically fell out of bed. She backed up, before turning around and stumbling onto the balcony on unsteady legs, letting the dusk air wash over her like a wave. _

_Catherine sat there, utterly startled at Sara's actions, for four whole minutes before clambering out of bed, grabbing a robe, and creeping onto the balcony. Sara was resting against the barrier, her hands gripping the metal like a vice. Her breathing was laboured, but steady. Uncertainly, Cath stepped closer and draped the bathrobe around her shoulders. Sara didn't move, didn't speak at the contact, but Cath could feel her whole body tense up. _

"_Are you okay?" She whispered at last, when Sara's silence began to get too overpowering for her. _

"_I'm fine." She answered hoarsely, though both knew it was a blatant lie. Cath was more than a little concerned now; she had never seen her girlfriend so troubled. _

"_Sara, baby you're scaring me." Her voice trembled as she said it, edging closer still. _

"_I'm fine." She repeated, though quieter now. Cath took another step closer, and dared to place her hands on either side of Sara's waist. The brunette let go of the railing, holding her hands up slightly as a warning of sorts. "Please, don't." She said, barely a whisper. Sadly, Cath retracted her hands. _

"_Sara, sweetie talk to me." She begged. Sara turned around and walked back inside. _

"_There's nothing to talk about." She mumbled as she walked past her. Cath sighed and followed her in._

"_You had a nightmare." She stated, eyeing Sara closely as the younger woman made herself a cup of coffee. "That's nothing to be ashamed of." She explained softly. Sara chuckled dryly. _

"_You don't know me." She muttered. It dawned on Catherine that Sara seemed to be avoiding eye contact at all cost, so walked up to her and gripped her face, forcing her to look at her. _

"_I know you well enough. I'm your girlfriend Sara, talk to me." The blonde pleaded, her blue eyes boring into Sara's. Sara wrenched her face free of Cat's grip and stepped back. _

"_I have nightmares sometimes. It's no big deal, can we not talk about it." She snapped tiredly. _

"_Okay," Cath started slowly, "but, you know it can help to talk about it." She offered, taking Sara's hand. This time the young woman resisted the urge to pull it back. _

"_I don't want to talk about it." For the first time Sara noticed the hurt behind Catherine's eyes and felt a pang of guilt deep in her heart. "Don't take it personally; I just ... can't deal with this. I'm sorry." She whispered, tears stinging at her eyes. Cath nodded, though she still felt sad that Sara couldn't confide in her. _

"_Okay. But just so you know, I am here, if you ever want to talk. Anytime." She said. Sara nodded, and even managed a small grateful smile. "Can I?" Cath asked, moving closer with her arms out. Sara nodded and allowed Cath to wrap her in a hug. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Cat placed a kiss on Sara's neck and whispered into her hair; "I love you."_

X x x

_**April 2nd**_

_Lily groaned. _

"_You really think you're in love with this girl?" She asked, rolling her eyes. _

"_Yes I do." Catherine answered calmly. "In fact no, I know I am." _

"_Catherine, you don't have to keep doing this." Lily pleaded with her. _

"_Doing what? Falling in love?" _

"_Taking risks. It's time to settle down now, in a proper relationship." _

"_I have." _

"_With a man." Lily finished pointedly. Cath shook her head. _

"_So because Sara's a woman I can't have a long term relationship with her. Is that what you're saying?" _

"_Yes I..." She started, then paused to gather her thoughts. "Look, I don't have a problem with it, per say. People can date whoever they want to. I have nothing against lesbians..."_

"_You just don't want your daughter to be one." Catherine finished for her. When she saw her mother's face she sighed. "Look, mom. I am very confused right now, and believe me no-one was more surprised than me to find myself in this situation." She answered honestly. "But, I really do love Sara. She's an amazing person and I know she'll look after me, and Lindsey. And she's been so patient with me." She explained. With a begging gaze and a soft hopeful voice, she looked her mother in the eye. "Just give her a chance. Give _us_ a chance." _

X x x

_With a lot to think about and a rather weak promise to try and accept this, Lily left. And as a despondent Catherine walked away from the front door, her eyes caught something. _

"_You love me, huh?" Sara sent her a bright smile from her spot sitting at the top of the stairs. Cath laughed. _

"_Didn't anyone tell you it's impolite to eavesdrop?" She asked, crawling her way upstairs to join her. _

"_No." Sara answered. "And you're changing the subject." She pointed out. Cath agreed. She offered a seductive grin and crawled the last few steps, until she was practically climbing over the brunette. She claimed her lips softly, feeling Sara melt under her spell. She pulled back, and punctuated each of her next words with a feather soft kiss:_

"_I ... love ... you." _


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**October 4th**

Sara strolled through the lab corridors, seemingly oblivious, but fully aware, of the many eyes trekking her movements. Once she arrived at her intended destination she paused in the doorway and knocked quietly.

Ecklie was sighing into the phone impatiently and looked up when he heard his visitor.

"Have a seat." He gestured to her.

"_This is Grissom." _The answer phone message clicked on, and Ecklie grunted.

"How's the arm?" He asked her.

"_Please leave a detailed message after the tone." _Grissom's voicemail continued.

"Fractured in two places." Sara answered bluntly, sitting down in the chair. The machine beeped.

"Gil, Conrad again. Um ... message number three. Call me back please." Ecklie said, before slamming the phone back down. Sara tried to hide her smile. "It's feeling better?" He asked, gesturing again to her arm.

"Yeah."

"Good." There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. "Okay ... um ... look, I don't want to play any games here. This is as difficult for me as it is for you." He sighed, closing his door and sitting down behind his desk, opposite her. "So, let's ... uh ... just get this over with, shall we?" He cleared his throat. "Okay then ... uh ... this is an administrative inquiry. You and your supervisor were in direct violation of lab policy ..."

"Are." Sara corrected, thoroughly enjoying his discomfort.

"'Are' in direct violation of lab policy, which states that members of a forensic team may not engage in a romantic relationship. So, when did you and supervisor Willows begin your relationship?"

"Seven months ago. February 14th." A small smile twitched at her lips. "I think it was a Sunday."

X x x

Grissom snapped his phone shut again without answering. Nick turned towards him, a fair way away now, and then back to Greg.

"Hey, did Sara ever say anything to you about her and Catherine?" He asked. Greg shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road they were scouring for evidence.

"Not in so many words." He answered mysteriously.

"So, you knew about the two of them?" Nick asked, stopping in his tracks.

"Yeah." Greg shrugged again, continuing walking. Nick held his hands out in bafflement.

X x x

"So I suppose it's my turn now?" Catherine asked, leaning against the doorframe. Ecklie motioned for her to sit down and she did, somewhat begrudgingly.

"Nobody wants to hear about your love life less than me, but since you broke the rules we have to take a formal statement." She nodded in understanding. "Should've been a conversation between friends. I mean we could've found some way around this. Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't want you to know." Cath answered honestly. "And we're not friends." She pointed out dryly. He sighed.

"I thought women wanted to world to know when they were dating someone." He moaned. Catherine gave him a look.

"Where do you get your information about women, Conrad?" Before he could answer she added under her breath, "little wonder you're divorced."

X x x

"You've been dodging me; it's time to talk." Grissom looked up from the tarantula crawling across his hand to face Ecklie.

"You're scaring my spider." He answered absently. Ecklie shook his head and sat down, ensuring he was far enough away from the arachnid.

"Did you know about Catherine and Sara?"

"No."

"You expect me to believe that they didn't tell you?" The bald man pressed.

"They didn't." Grissom answered bluntly. A thought crossed Ecklie's mind and he smiled.

"That must have stung." He tried (and failed) to sound sympathetic. "What with you and Sara's ... history. Her turning to your best friend." Gil realised immediately what he was doing.

"Sara and I were over nine years ago. And yes, it took some time to deal with it, but I am happy that they're happy. I just ... need time." He shuffled uncomfortably. Ecklie had had a plan of action, but a new thought occurred to him.

"Well, technically I should split them up, move one to swing. But it's up to you. If you're happy for them to stay on the nightshift, as long as Catherine is no longer acting as a supervisor to Sara, then that's your call." He offered. This was perfect; he couldn't believe he hadn't considered it earlier. This way, if Grissom says no then it is him who they'll be mad at for splitting them up. And if he says yes, he will have to see them together every night. See Sara in Catherine's arms.

He could practically see these same thoughts crossing Grissom's mind. Ecklie was actually curious to see what he would decide – would he play the vindictive ex and tear them apart, or would he sacrifice his ego for their happiness?

"Well Gil," his face twisted into a smarmy grin, "pick your poison."


	25. Chapter 24

**Thank you all (again) for reading and reviewing. This is the last flashback, only two more chapters to go :) I decided to do this one more from Sara's POV, since all the others are Catherine's. Hope you enjoy. x**

**x x x x **

**Chapter 24**

_"How long have you felt like this? About me?"_

_"How long have we known each other?"_

It was true; Sara had felt these feelings since day one. However, she could pinpoint the exact time and place that she fell in love with Catherine.

_**October 22; 02:12; Calnevari**_

_**5 Years ago**_

"_Can you imagine living out here?" Catherine asked with a sigh as they drove the lonely road to the Crime Scene. _

"_It's peaceful." Sara shrugged. _

"_Peaceful?" Cath scoffed, "Town just lost five percent of its population." Sara turned to her. _

"_I thought you said this was a single homicide."_

"_Yeah, in a population of twenty." Sara smiled. Catherine made a noise that Sara took to be relief as they turned into the parking lot. _

"_We made it. State Trooper." Sara said as they exited the Denali. The heavyset guy wandered over with a smug grin. _

"_Two hours to drive 75 miles. You guys got lost." Sara hid a smile – they had actually – but Catherine did not seem amused. _

"_What's the rush? Crime scene's not going anywhere." She snapped. _

X x x

_Catherine's mood did not improve much as they started investigating. _

"_Fluorescent powders?" She asked harshly. Sara shrugged. _

"_Eh, why not? They were in the kit." She had learnt to adopt a nonchalant attitude when around Catherine, or else give herself away by becoming a bag of nerves. _

"_Protocol's black." Cath snapped. _

"_Since when do you care about my choice of powders?" The brunette smiled cheekily. She loved scenes like this, when it was just her and Catherine. When Grissom was around she threw herself at him in the hope that they might rekindle some long dead flame and make her forget all about Catherine. But out here, alone in the sticks, it was just the two of them. And in some overly creative part of her mind, Sara could pretend that it was romantic. _

_Catherine did not seem to notice Sara's contemplative expression. She yanked her gloves off and threw them down, beginning to pace like an irritated caged animal. _

"_Assistant coroner is four hours late and we are stuck out here until he transports to body. And I haven't even heard from Grissom..." She rambled anxiously. _

"_You know I never tried green." Sara mused, examining the little pot curiously. _

"_I should never have been sent to this remote scene in the first place. I have seniority, I deserve; no I have earned the right to choose my cases!" Cath continued her rant, ignoring her young co-worker. Without a word, Sara stood up walked to the rack of candy bars. Scanning them thoughtfully, she handed Catherine one with a small smile. Cath took it and tore in. _

"_If I start eating, I'll shut up." She reasoned. Though she didn't say it she was impressed with Sara's choice. Fudge. _

"_You have a mirror?" Sara asked out of the blue. _

"_Since when do you care about your appearance?" Catherine asked without thinking, rummaging in her kit. When she saw Sara's shocked expression she backtracked. "I meant at a crime scene?" _

"_It's not for me." Sara explained, masking the slight shot to her ego and taking the mirror. Cath held up her hands. _

"_Sorry." She mumbled. She had not meant to insult Sara, it had come out wrong. However, the brunette didn't seem to care as she crouched down behind the counter using the mirror to see better. _

"_We can't touch it." Cath pointed out. _

"_I'm just getting a better look." Sara explained. Ever so slightly impressed with Sara's idea, Cath leant over her, looking at the small mirror. Sara felt Cath's presence hovering over her, and it caused a different sensation to the usual feeling of claustrophobia it would cause. This felt nice, almost sensual. Cath kept her balance by resting a hand on Sara's shoulder. Sara could smell the blonde's soft subtle scent and her chest brushed against Sara's back. The brunette's breath hitched, and Catherine heard it, was just about to ask what was wrong when the door swung open and David sauntered in. Cath immediately stood up straight, candy bar still in hand, and scowled at him with her hand on her hip. _

"_Oh, thank God. About time." She huffed. _

"_Nice to see you too Catherine." David answered indifferently. "Well I smell the body, where is he?" He asked, surveying the small shop. Suddenly Sara popped up from behind the counter, a sheepish smile on her face. _

"_Hey, David. I wasn't touching him." She promised. Super Dave just smiled, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks Cath noticed. _

"_I know you better than that." He grinned. Cath rolled her eyes. _

"_So, what took you so long?" She asked, waiting for him to lie. But he didn't, he just offered a simple answer;_

"_I took a wrong turn back at the fork." _

X x x

_It was that day, alone in that lonely shop, that Sara had realised the true nature of her feelings for Catherine. She realised that day why she had fallen for the blonde: her sharp wit, her confidence, her stubborn pride, her intelligence. Her beauty. _

_That moment that her hand had appeared on her shoulder; that simple touch had been like a match being lit. She had been so glad that David had walked in at that moment, because it distracted Catherine and gave Sara a few precious seconds to calm the fire that had sprung up in her heart. _

_And it was that day, when she realised how deep she had fallen for Catherine, that she decided she would never be able to do anything about it. That day she made a choice. And from then onwards she tried to forget her feelings, to focus on something, or someone else. Grissom. Hank. _

_Anyone. _

_But she never forgot. Not really; she just stored those feelings away in a safe little corner of her heart, and in those dark nights when she felt so alone, she would pull them back out again; when she was asleep and her subconscious took over, those powerful feelings gripped her tightly, keeping her warm in the cold, lonely nights. _


	26. Chapter 25

**Well, I know you wanted an answer so here it is :) Hope you enjoy. One more chapter to go x**

**x x x x **

**Chapter 25**

**October 4th**

"What did you tell Ecklie?"

"The truth." Sara answered. They were sitting in Catherine's car, facing each other. There was a moment of silence.

"I spoke to him too. And Grissom." Cath said at last.

"When am I moving to swing?" Sara asked with a small laugh.

"You're not."

"Cat, we talked about it. I know you were going to but I can't do that to the team. Or Lindsey."

"I know. Neither of us is moving." The blonde smiled for the first time.

"Really?" Sara asked. "Ecklie's letting us both stay?" That sounded far too good to be true.

"No. He gave Grissom the final say. And Grissom said we can both stay. As colleagues only, I'm not your supervisor anymore." Sara was quiet for a moment.

"You know what that means?" She asked. Cath raised an eyebrow. "You're going to have to start being nicer to him." She grinned cheekily. Catherine rolled her eyes and laughed.

"I think I can manage that. As long as I get something from you in return." Sara raised an eyebrow. "Often." Ah, she understood. They shared a giggle and lapsed into silence again. "We should go." She said at last. Agreeing, Sara let her help her out of the car.

And together, hand in hand, they joined their team.

X x x

The guys saw them enter the bar hand in hand, with matching smiles. It was the first time they had seen Sara since at Catherine's place three days ago, and now something seemed to have lifted. For the first time since Sara disappeared, there was no tension, no stress, no tears.

Greg was in the corner, by the window. Brass was in-between him and Grissom. Doc Robbins was on the other side of Griss, and Sofia was at the end of the table.

Across from them, Nick stood up and let them slide in between him and Warrick, who was next to the window, opposite Greg.

"Well, while I'm up, can I get you girls anything?" Nick asked. They both ordered a drink, and Warrick chimed in for a refill. "At your service, my liege." He bowed dramatically and headed over to the counter.

"So, you guys look ... good." Brass stated with a satisfied nod. "Life in lover's paradise treating you well?" He joked. Cath laughed.

"Very well." She nodded.

"You're not the only one." Sofia chuckled, indicting Nicky flirting with the waitress at the bar.

They all shared a laugh as the Texan made his way back to them. "What's up?" He asked nervously as they continued to grin manically at him.

"Quite finished seducing the staff, ladies man?" Sara asked with a smirk.

"Right back at you, Sidle." He shot back. She stuck her tongue out playfully.

"At least I got my girl." She nudged him. He laughed. Catherine had remained silent throughout their bantering and now Grissom locked eyes with her.

"You sure you can handle her?" He asked, but there was no challenge in his voice this time, just his usual, light humour. Cath grinned lazily at him.

"Oh, there are means and ways." She answered, shooting Sara a sideways glance. Greg wolf-whistled.

"You know, you two are going to have to keep your hands off each other at work." Grissom pointed out, semi-seriously.

No deal." Sara answered instantly. Catherine looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Just hands?" She asked. Sara nearly choked on her drink, causing the boys to erupt in laughter again.

"Stop it Cath, you're embarrassing Sara." Warrick joked.

"I'm not the only one." Sara coughed, pointing at Nick's pink cheeks. Everyone laughed again, except Catherine and Brass, who shared a smile. The Graveyard Team was back.

And on that note, Nicky held up his glass to make a toast. He cleared his throat.

"I would like to raise a glass to our CSI family. Back together again, and in one piece." He placed a hand over Sara's. "And also, to our lovebirds. I think it's time for a happy ending to this story." They all clinked glasses, and though none could see it, everyone knew Catherine and Sara's hands were locked tightly together under the table.

"Alright, I'm going home." Grissom announced. "Al, you need a ride?" He and Sofia helped Doc up and the older men said their goodbyes and left for the door.

"Hold up, I'll come with you." Brass said. Before he joined them at the door, he leant down and whispered something to the girls that no one else could hear but that made them smile.

"Yeah, I might head home too." Greg said, stretching his tired arms.

"I'll drop you off. Better than you falling asleep and bouncing off the curb." Sofia said, gathering her things. "Good to see you back on your feet Sara." She smiled at the brunette.

"Thanks Sofia." Sara said softly.

"So, just us." Nick said, looking between Warrick, Catherine and Sara. "You know, in a different life we all could've double dated." He said, remembering the flirty moments between himself and Sara, and Cath and Warrick.

"Never say never sweetie, there's still time." Warrick joked, watching Nick's expression change. The girls laughed gleefully. Nicky cleared his throat.

"You know what, I might just go take a hard look at that redhead." He gestured towards the waitress. "Enjoy your morning girls." He grinned, punching Warrick lightly on the shoulder.

"Oh, I'm sure we will." Cath smirked.

"So, everything back to normal, huh?" Warrick said.

"Normal?" Cath laughed. Sara had her head resting against her shoulder, her eyes drifting closed. The blonde looked down and smiled. "I might get her home before she falls asleep here." She said to Warrick.

"Alright, see you two later." He watched Cath take Sara's hand and start to lead her to the door. "Hey, you take good care of her for us." He winked at her. She sent him a bright, honest smile.

"Always."


	27. Epilogue

**Finale :D Hope you've enjoyed reading, thank you for the reviews :) **

**And, as promised by Nicky, enjoy the happy ending x**

**x x x x **

**Epilogue**

**December 24th, 08:16**

**Christmas Eve**

Sara had been so excited to get back to work once her cast was off, but it was mornings like this that she couldn't remember why. Christmas Eve, and she was tired, stressed and needed a drink. Or a hug. Or both.

She abandoned her car at a somewhat strange angle on the driveway and made a beeline for the house. _Their_ house. _Their home_. She tossed her keys into the bowl by the door, kicking her shoes off as she went. On her way through the house she called out Catherine's name and got no answer. She looked around and downstairs and came up empty. Satisfied that she must still be asleep, Sara headed towards the stairs...

... Where she was surprised to find the whole staircase littered with rose petals. Puzzled, she climbed the stairs carefully and followed the trail to the bedroom door. "Catherine?" She inquired quietly, opening the door and creeping in.

There was darkness except for the dozens of candles burning around the room making the shadows dance playfully. The trail continued to the bed, and the bed itself was a blanket of rose petals. Sara stood in the middle of the room, staring at the scene in delighted confusion, when her eyes were covered and a husky voice whispered in her ear:

"Guess who?" Sara was taken aback but a coy smile spread across her lips.

"Hmm, my angel?" She answered. Catherine moved her hands off Sara's eyes and the brunette turned around slowly. "Wow." She whispered. Catherine was dressed in a stunning indigo satin floor length dress, and her golden tresses fell naturally over her bare shoulders. She wore a bashful smile and which reached all the way to her bright blue eyes, and she held a red rose in her hands. "You look..." Sara started but Catherine silenced her with a finger over her lips.

The blonde stepped closer, so they were almost touching and placed a feather light kiss on her lips, tucking the rose tenderly behind Sara's ear. Then, she did something very unexpected; she dropped onto both knees, grasped both Sara's hands in hers and started to talk.

"Sara you have given me something that I never thought I would get again. You have given me a family." Sara stared at her in stunned silence. "When I nearly lost you, I didn't think I'd be able to carry on anymore. I kept thinking that if you were by my side I would know what to do, where to start looking. You're my rock Sara; I have never felt this way about anyone before. And at first that scared me. But now ... I never want this to end; I want to wake up by your side every day. I want to show you how much I love you all the time. I want to be able to introduce you as my wife." Sara sucked in a breath as Cath pulled out a little box, seemingly from nowhere. "Sara I love you more than the world. Marry me?" Sara stared at her for a moment, having lost the ability to move, and the longer she stayed like that the more nervous it was making Catherine. She was just about to ask Sara to say something when the younger woman pulled her up by her hands and kissed her passionately.

"Yes." She mumbled into the kiss. It took a few seconds for this to filter through the haze in her mind but when it did Cath pulled back and studied her face.

"Yes?"

"Yes." Sara repeated, a beautiful smile appearing on her face. Catherine wrapped her arms around her neck tightly and kissed her again.

"My beautiful bride." She whispered, sliding the ring onto her finger. A few happy tears trickled down Sara's face but Catherine kissed them away. "Never leave me again." She mumbled against her skin.

Unable to speak, the only answer Sara could offer was to press their lips together and sweep Catherine into her arms. She laid her down carefully on the bed, never breaking the kiss. They undressed each other silently – there was no need for words.

And when Sara finally found her voice, there was only one thing she could think of to say:

"I was right," she whispered, placing a kiss just over Catherine's heart. "My angel."


End file.
